Saathi ki Guide
Low moodUdaasi mein unke saath khade rehna
Udaasi se guzar rahe saathi, pati ya patni ke liye ek garm, kaam ki guide: khud ko khoye bina unke saath kaise khade rahein, bahlane-aur-kat-jaane wale phande se kaise bahar niklein, aur saath milkar madad kaise maangein.
Jise aap jaante hain, woh insaan door-sa lagne laga hai
Aapne ek pattern dekhna shuru kiya hai. Aapka saathi sust, thaka hua, kata-kata, ya chhoti-chhoti baaton par chidhne wala lagne laga hai, aise jo unke swabhaav jaisa nahi hai, aur yeh hafton se chal raha hai, dinon se nahi. Ek pattern ko pehchanna un par koi label chipkane jaisa nahi hai. Yeh guide aapke liye hai, taaki aap unke saath khade reh sakein, bina khud dheere-dheere gayab hue.
Yeh dheere-dheere aaya. Jo insaan kabhi aapke mazaak par hansta tha, ab deewar ko ghoorta rehta hai. Jo aapke weekend ki yojna banata tha, ab yeh bhi tay nahi kar pata ki kya khaana hai. Woh har waqt thake rehte hain, ya chhoti-chhoti baaton par jhunjhla jaate hain, ya phir aankhon ke peechhe kahin aur khoye rehte hain. Aap intezaar karte rehte hain ki woh phir se sambhal jaayenge, aur hafte guzarte chale jaate hain.
Ab aapko ismein ek aakaar dikhne laga hai. Ek pattern ko pehchanna apne saathi par koi label chipkane jaisa nahi hai. Asal mein kya ho raha hai, yeh sirf ek doctor hi bata sakte hain, aur yeh kitaab un par kuch naam nahi rakhti. Yeh itna karegi ki aap samajh sakein ki aap kiske saath jee rahe hain, aur iske bheetar kaise tike reh sakte hain.
Udaasi aam baat hai, aur yeh na kamzori hai, na kisi charitra ki kharaabi. Sehat se jude bade sangathan ise ek aam haalat batate hain, jiska ilaaj ho sakta hai. Mushkil dinon mein yeh yaad rakhne layak hai: yeh kuch asli hai, aur yeh aisi cheez hai jo behtar hoti hai.
Aapko yeh jaankar thodi raahat bhi mil sakti hai ki iska shayad koi naam hai. Aur shayad raahat mehsoos karne par aapko apraadh-bodh bhi ho, jaise samajhne ki chaahat ka matlab yeh ho ki aap un par se ummeed chhod rahe hain. Ye dono bhavnayein swaabhaavik hain. Apne hi ghar mein kya ho raha hai, yeh samajhna chaahna aapka haq hai.
Aage badhne se pehle
Yeh guide aapke liye, yaani saathi ke liye, likhi gayi hai. Isliye nahi ki aapka saathi kam maayne rakhta hai, balki isliye ki saathi ke haath mein koi kabhi koi kitaab nahi thamata. Aap bhi kuch dho rahe hain, aur jab aap unka khayaal rakh rahe hain, tab aapka khayaal rakhe jaane ka bhi haq hai.
Bimaari, aur woh insaan jise aap chaahte hain
Woh bhaaripan, dilchaspi ka khatm hona, kat jaana, zara-zara si baat par chidhna: ye sab us haalat ke lakshan hain, aapki shaadi ya aapke pyaar par koi faisla nahi. Insaan ko bimaari se alag dekh paana aapko yeh mauqa deta hai ki aap bimaari par gussa karein aur usi waqt insaan ke saath naram rahein.
Yahin woh badlaav hai jo sab kuch badal deta hai. Jab aapka saathi sofe se uth nahi pata, ya un cheezon mein maza lena band kar deta hai jo use kabhi achhi lagti theen, to woh bimaari hai jo unhe andar ki or kheench rahi hai, na ki woh aapko thukra rahe hain. Woh susti ek lakshan hai, jaise bukhaar ek lakshan hota hai. Yeh is baare mein koi sandesh nahi hai ki woh aapke baare mein kya mehsoos karte hain, aur yeh aapki shaadi par koi tippani nahi hai.
Yeh isliye maayne rakhta hai ki yeh aapko kis cheez se bachata hai. Jab yeh kataav aise padha jaaye ki "ab woh mujhse pyaar nahi karte", to har khaamosh shaam ek zakhm jaisi lagti hai, aur aap bhi door hatne lagte hain. Jab yeh aise padha jaaye ki "bimaari unhe andar kheench rahi hai", to aap insaan ke paas bane reh sakte hain, aur usi waqt us cheez par gussa kar sakte hain jo unhe le gayi.
Jis din main samajh paayi ki yeh khaamoshi bimaari thi, hum par koi faisla nahi, us din maine har sust shaam ko is baat ka saboot maanna chhod diya ki usne mujhse pyaar karna band kar diya hai.
Ek saathi, us mod ko yaad karte hue
Iska ilaaj ho sakta hai, aur yeh koi chhoti baat nahi hai. Baatcheet wale ilaaj madad karte hain, dava kuch logon ki madad karti hai, aur kayi log theek ho jaate hain. Asardaar ilaaj maujood hai, aur zyadatar log behtar hote hain. Aapka saathi itna nahi toota ki joda na ja sake. Woh bimaar hain, aur bimaari se bahar nikalne ka raasta hota hai.
Aur yahaan woh kadi, par raahat dene wali sacchai hai jo shayad aapko do baar sunni pade. Aapne ise paida nahi kiya, aur aap unhe aur zyada pyaar karke ise theek bhi nahi kar sakte. Udaasi koi aisa mood nahi jismein woh jaan-boojhkar baithe hain, aur yeh aisi cheez nahi jise sirf aapka sabr utha le jaaye. Unhe achhe se chaahna bahut maayne rakhta hai, par yeh koi ilaaj nahi hai, aur aapka kaam kabhi ilaaj banna tha hi nahi.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Bimaari ko insaan se alag dekhne ka matlab yeh nahi ki aap har baat ko maaf kar dein ya yeh dikhava karein ki kuch chubhta hi nahi. Chhoti-chhoti baat par chidhna ab bhi chubhta hai. Kataav ab bhi aapko akela chhod jaata hai. Iska matlab bas itna hai ki aap ek banaye hue insaan se ladna band kar dete hain, us "jise parwaah hi nahi hai" wale se, aur ek aisi bimaari ka saamna karne lagte hain jise aap sach mein, saath milkar, peechhe dhakel sakte hain. "Yeh bimaari bhaari hai, aur main yahin hoon, aur hum tumhe madad dilaayenge" aisa vaakya hai jiske saath aap dono khade ho sakte hain. "Tumne hum par se ummeed chhod di" aisa nahi hai.
Woh phanda jo aap dono ko neeche kheenchta hai
Ek aam chakra aisa dikhta hai: woh kat jaate hain, aap unhe bahlane ya isse bahar aane ke liye dhakelne lagte hain, woh aur zyada bojh jaisa mehsoos karte hain, aur aur bhi kat jaate hain. Yeh do logon ke beech ka phanda hai, kisi ek ki galti nahi. Ek baar aap ise dekh paayein, to aap saath milkar isse bahar nikal sakte hain.
Dekhiye yeh aam taur par kaise banta hai. Aapka saathi chup ho jaata hai aur andar simat jaata hai. Aap unhe aisa dekh nahi paate, isliye aap unhe bahlane ki koshish karte hain, ya haule se dhakelte hain ki woh hilein-dulein, isse bahar aayein. Par unhe uthane ke bajaaye yeh un par ek dabaav bankar girta hai. Unhe lagta hai ki woh aapko niraash kar rahe hain, ki woh ek bojh hain, isliye woh aur andar simat jaate hain. Aur woh jitna andar jaate hain, aap utna zyada dhakelte hain. Chakra yun hi ghoomta rehta hai.
Yeh phanda kisi ne nahi chuna. Aap madad karne ki koshish kar rahe hain, aur woh sambhalne ki koshish kar rahe hain, aur ye dono koshishein baar-baar aapas mein takraati rehti hain. Jab sab shaant ho, tab aap ise saath milkar, haule se, zubaan par la sakte hain.
- Aapka saathi kat jaata hai aur andar simat jaata hai.
- Aap unhe bahlane ya isse bahar aane ke liye dhakelne lagte hain.
- Unhe aur zyada bojh aur niraasha jaisa mehsoos hota hai.
- Woh aur kat jaate hain, aur dabaav phir badhne lagta hai, jab tak yeh dobara shuru na ho jaaye.
Do cheezen is phande ko khaad deti hain, aur dono jaanne layak hain. Pehli hai ek tana hua, aalochana se bhara ghar. Jab ghar ki hawa mein aalochana ya khinchaav bhar jaata hai, to udaasi dheere-dheere uthti hai, jabki garmaahat aur sthirta theek hone mein madad karti hain. Yeh ilzaam ki baat nahi hai. Yeh bas wajah hai ki saath maujood hona dabaav se hamesha behtar kaam karta hai.
Doosra jaal aalochana ka ulta hai, aur yeh pyaar jaisa dikhta hai. Yeh hai zaroorat se zyada sambhaal lena: aap chupchaap sab kuch apne haath mein le lete hain, khaana, bill, phone, ghar ke kaam, yahaan tak ki aapke saathi ko lagne lagta hai ki woh kisi kaam ke nahi, aur aap khud thakkar choor ho jaate hain. Yeh madad jaisa lagta hai, par yeh usi chakra ko khaad deta hai. Unke liye har kaam kar dene se unhe lag sakta hai ki woh kuch nahi kar sakte.
Yaad rakhiye
Is phande se bahar nikalna aam taur par aapke ek chhote badlaav se shuru hota hai, aur woh lagbhag kabhi "aur zyada koshish karke unhe bahlao" nahi hota. Yeh dabaav aur theek karne ki jagah garmaahat aur saath maujood rehna hai. Aapko unhe suljhana nahi hai. Aapko bas unke paas bane rehna hai.
Salaah se zyada saath maujood rehna
Salaah se zyada saath maujood rehna kaam karta hai. Unke paas baithna, saath mein ek chhoti sair, ek garm khaana, ye kisi hausla dene wale bhaashan se chhote lagte hain par aam taur par zyada asar karte hain. Dabaav nahi, chhote-chhote nyote. Aur unhe doctor tak pahunchana un sabse kaam ki cheezon mein se ek hai jo aap kar sakte hain.
Pehla man yahi hota hai ki woh sahi shabd dhoondh lein jo ise theek kar denge. Par salaah se zyada saath maujood rehna kaam karta hai, lagbhag har baar. Unke paas baithna, bina yeh chaahe ki woh baat karein. Saath mein ek chhoti sair. Saamne rakha ek garm khaana. Ye maayne rakhne ke liye bahut chhote lagte hain, aur ye kisi bhi bhaashan se zyada maayne rakhte hain. Udaasi mein kisi ko jo uthata hai, woh shayad hi kabhi koi chatur vaakya hota hai. Woh yeh pakka-sa ehsaas hota hai ki woh ismein akele nahi hain.
Sabse bure hafton mein, Meera ne apne pati ko unki bhavna se bahlane ki koshish karna band kar diya. Iske bajaaye usne chhoti cheezon se shuru kiya. Woh unki pasand ki daal banati aur mood ki koi baat kiye bina unke saamne rakh deti. Woh apni kitaab lekar sofe par unke paas baith jaati, unse baat karne ko na kehte hue, bas wahaan maujood rehti. Aisa lagta jaise woh kuch nahi kar rahi. Par dheere-dheere, is chupchaap ke saath ne woh kar dikhaya jo bhaashanon ne kabhi nahi kiya tha. Woh thoda-thoda upar aane lage, kyunki woh akele upar nahi aa rahe the.
Dabaav nahi, chhote-chhote nyote deejiye. "Tumhe zyada bahar nikalna chaahiye" ke bajaaye kahiye, "kya tum das minute ke liye chaloge, hum jab chaahein laut sakte hain". Yeh chhoot dena hi naram hissa hai. Isse woh haan keh paate hain, bina aisi kisi cheez ke liye haami bhare jo udaasi ke bheetar se namumkin lagti hai.
Udaasi ke baare mein saath milkar jaanna poore jode ki madad karta hai, aur yeh sirf ek achhi soch nahi hai. Ek adhyayan mein, parivaar ke liye udaasi par ek chhota-sa jaankari wala course dobara bimaar padne ki dar ko tezi se ghata deta hai, akele aam ilaaj ke muqaable 100 mein 50 se ghatkar 100 mein 8 tak. Ise saath milkar samajhna khud ilaaj ka hissa hai.
Unhe doctor tak pahunchana un sabse kaam ki cheezon mein se ek hai jo aap kar sakte hain, aur pehli mulaqaat par unke saath jaana ise kahin zyada aasaan bana sakta hai. Madad tak pahunchne mein unki madad karke aap koi zabardasti nahi kar rahe. Aap is poori soochi ki sabse madadgaar cheez kar rahe hain. Yeh peshkash keejiye ki aap appointment le lenge, saath chalenge, intezaar wale kamre mein baithenge. Udaasi mein kisi ke liye sabse mushkil kadam aksar pehla hi hota hai, aur aap unhe us paar uthakar le ja sakte hain.
Jin baaton ko jaane deejiye
Kuch baatein ek pehle se bhaari bojh mein aur sharmindagi jod deti hain, tab bhi jab woh pyaar se kahi jaayein. Inhe jaane deejiye: "isse bahar aa jao", "auron ka haal isse bura hai", "bas positive raho", "tum aalasi ho rahe ho". Ye udaasi ko nahi uthatin. Ye aapke saathi ko yahi batati hain ki sab kuch ke upar, woh behtar mehsoos karne mein bhi naakaam ho rahe hain.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Agar aapko samajh na aaye ki kya kahein, to aapko khaamoshi ko salaah se bharna zaroori nahi. "Main yahin hoon" aur "main kahin nahi ja raha" aur "hum isse saath milkar paar paayenge", ye kisi bhi ilaaj se zyada uthate hain. Aur agar koi baatcheet bigad jaaye, jo kabhi-kabhi hogi, to aap use baad mein jod sakte hain. "Maine pehle zyada dhakel diya, maaf karna, main bas chaahta hoon ki tum behtar mehsoos karo", yeh aisa vaakya hai jo dobara jodta hai. Ise bilkul sahi karna kaam nahi hai. Saath bane rehna kaam hai.
Aapka apna oxygen mask
Aap khaali pyaale se nahi undel sakte. Apni neend, khaana, dostiyon, aur aaraam ka khayaal rakhna swaarth nahi hai. Yahi aapko madad kar paane layak rakhta hai. Aap unke saathi hain, unke therapist nahi, aur kisi ko chaahne ka matlab unka poora ilaaj ban jaana nahi hai.
Aapne har flight mein yeh suna hai, aur yahaan bhi yeh sach hai. Aap khaali pyaale se nahi undel sakte. Apni neend, apne khaane, apni dostiyon aur aaraam ka khayaal rakhna swaarth nahi hai. Yahi aapko khada rakhta hai, aur ek saathi jo ab bhi khada hai, woh aapke saathi ke paas sabse kaam ki cheez hai.
Yeh koi naram-si fikr nahi hai. Udaasi se joojh rahe logon ke saathi sach mein ek bojh dhote hain, aur waqt ke saath khud saathi ka mood aur sehat bhi ladkhadane lagti hai. Aapki bhavnayein maayne rakhti hain. Aapki thakaan unki bimaari se dhyaan bhatkane wali baat nahi hai. Apni sehat ki hifaazat ilaaj ka hissa hai, isse chhutti nahi.
Is baat ko bhi thaame rakhiye: aap unke saathi hain, unke therapist nahi. Kisi ko chaahne ka matlab unka poora ilaaj ban jaana nahi hai. Aap behisaab naram reh sakte hain aur phir bhi akele doctor, counselor, aur dava, sab ek saath nahi ban sakte. Yeh kabhi tay hi nahi hua tha, aur yeh aisa bojh nahi jise ek insaan dho sake.
Hadein rakhna jaayaz hai, aur yeh nirdayta nahi hai. Aap sthir aur garm reh sakte hain aur phir bhi keh sakte hain, "main yeh hissa nahi kar sakta, hamein madad bulani hogi". Apni zindagi ke ek-do dhaage bhi zinda rakhiye, koi shauq, koi dost, koi routine jo sirf aapka ho, taaki yeh rishta hamesha sirf bimaari ke ird-gird hi na ghoomta rahe. Saajhe parivaar mein yeh bojh kayi guna ho sakta hai, jahaan rishtedaar apni salaah aur ummeedein jodte jaate hain. Aapko har baatcheet jeetni zaroori nahi. "Hum ise saath milkar, apne tareeke se sambhaal rahe hain", yeh ek poora aur mukammal jawaab hai.
Is hafte ek aisi cheez chuniye jo sirf aapke liye ho, kisi dost ke saath aadha ghanta, phone ke bina ek sair, koi ek chhota routine jise aap bachakar rakhein. Ise bina apraadh-bodh ke leejiye. Dhyaan deejiye ki ghar bikhar nahi jaata, aur aap thode zyada sabr ke saath laute hain, jitne ke saath aap gaye the.
Kab kadam uthayein, aur kiski or mudein
Kuch chetavni ke ishaare abhi kadam maangte hain. Seedhe aur shaanti se poochiye. Kisi se yeh poochna ki kya woh apni zindagi khatm karne ke baare mein soch rahe hain, yeh khayaal unke man mein nahi bithata, yeh ek darwaaza khol deta hai. Agar woh shayad surakshit na hon, to unhe akela mat chhodiye, aur madad bulaiye. Tele-MANAS 14416 par hai, muft, kisi bhi waqt.
Is guide ka zyadatar hissa lambe, dheeme dinon ke baare mein hai. Yeh hissa teekhe dinon ke baare mein hai. Kuch chetavni ke ishaare abhi kadam maangte hain, agle hafte nahi. In par dhyaan deejiye: bojh hone ya chale jaane mein hi bhala hone ki baatein, apni cheezen baant dena, kisi andhere daur ke baad achaanak aaya sukoon, ya zinda na rehne ka koi bhi zikr. Inhe har baar gambheerta se leejiye.
Agar aapko fikr ho, to seedhe aur shaanti se poochiye. Yahi woh hissa hai jisse log sabse zyada darte hain, aur yahaan woh sach hai jo aapko aazaad kar dena chaahiye: kisi se yeh poochna ki kya woh apni zindagi khatm karne ke baare mein soch rahe hain, yeh khayaal unke man mein nahi bithata. Yeh ek darwaaza kholta hai, aur isse raahat mil sakti hai. Aap saaf-saaf keh sakte hain: "Kya tum apni zindagi khatm karne ke baare mein soch rahe ho?" Yeh sawaal unhe us or nahi dhakelta. Yeh unhe batata hai ki woh aakhirkaar woh baat zubaan par la sakte hain.
Agar woh shayad surakshit na hon, to unhe akela mat chhodiye. Jis bhi cheez se woh khud ko nuqsaan pahuncha sakte hain, us tak unki pahunch kam keejiye, aur madad bulaate hue unke saath bane rahiye. Aapko theek-theek yeh jaanna zaroori nahi ki aage kya karna hai. Aapko bas ismein akele nahi hona hai, aur na hi unhe.
Madad ke liye jaldi haath badhaaiye, aur khulkar badhaaiye. Tele-MANAS ko 14416 par call keejiye, yeh Bharat ki muft rashtriya maansik sehat helpline hai, kayi bhashaon mein maujood, din ho ya raat, kisi bhi waqt. Yeh jitni aapke saathi ke liye hai, utni aapke liye bhi, aur aap yeh poochne ke liye ise call kar sakte hain ki kya karein.
Fauri khatre mein, nazdeeki aspataal jaaiye ya aapatkaaleen sevaon ko call keejiye. Madad maangna pyaar ki nishani hai, naakaami ki nahi, aur aapko yeh akele nahi thaamna hai. Aap ek lambe waqt se tike rahe hain. Madad ke liye haath badhana woh pal nahi jab aapne ummeed chhod di. Yeh woh pal hai jab aapne aur logon ko saath bula liya, aur sthir log theek yahi karte hain.
Aapke saath
Agar yeh tanaav kabhi is had tak pahunch jaaye ki "main yeh aur nahi kar sakta", to woh ehsaas aam hai aur us tak pahuncha ja sakta hai, yeh aapki shaadi ya aap par koi faisla nahi. Neeche juda hua sankat card aise logon ke naam deta hai jinse aap baat kar sakte hain, kisi bhi waqt, aap dono mein se kisi ke liye.
Yeh jaankari kahan se hai
Aur padhne ke liye
Yeh guide samajhne mein madad karti hai. Yeh nidaan nahin hai. Uske liye doctor se milein.