For All of Us
Suicide safetyJude Rehna: Aam Log Bhi Jaan Bachaate Hain
You do not need training or a title to help keep someone alive. This is a warm, plain guide to the everyday connection that protects a life.
Judaav Hi Bachaav Hai
Kisi ko jeene mein madad karne ke liye aapko kisi training ya ohde ki zaroorat nahi hai. Ek padosi, ek dost, ek bhai-behen, aise aam logon ka jo lagataar aur pyaar bhara saath hota hai, wahi asli suraksha hai. Agar kisi ko abhi isi waqt khatra lag raha ho, to aap Tele-MANAS ko 14416 par kabhi bhi, muft mein phone kar sakte hain.
Hum mein se zyaadatar log aatmahatya shabd sunte hi bebas mehsoos karte hain. Hamein lagta hai ki yeh kaam doctor ka hai, maahir logon ka hai, hamse zyaada himmat waale kisi ka hai. Yahi soch woh cheez hai jo hamein aise insaan se door rakhti hai, jise sach mein hamaare paas aane ki sakht zaroorat hoti hai.
Ab dekhiye research asal mein kya dikhaati hai. Doosron se kat jaana, khud ko bojh samajhna, yeh mehsoos karna ki mere na rehne se kisi ko farak nahi padega, yahi ek insaan ko apni jaan lene ki soch ki taraf dhakelne waali sabse badi wajahon mein se hai. Iska matlab yeh bhi hai ki ulta bhi sach hai. Aam, lagataar bana rehne waala judaav sirf ek achha kaam nahi hai; yeh asli suraksha hai. Ek phone jo kahe "mujhe tumhaari yaad aa rahi thi." Bina kisi matlab ke saath pi gayi ek cup chai. Ek message jiska jawaab dena zaroori na ho. Yahi chhoti-chhoti baatein asli kaam hain.
Apni zindagi ke us insaan ke baare mein sochiye jo pichhle kuchh dinon se thoda chup-chup ho gaya hai. Woh bhai-behen jisne group mein jawaab dena band kar diya. Woh dost jo pehle phone karta tha aur ab nahi karta. Woh saath kaam karne waala jo hansne mein thoda der laga deta hai. Aapko unki zindagi sudhaarni nahi hai. Aapko bas unki taraf haath badhaana hai, narmi se, aur ek baar mein haar maane bina.
Yeh kitaab aatmahatya ke waqt ki rescue ke baare mein nahi hai, aur na hi yeh pehla madad pahunchaane waala banne ke baare mein hai. In dono ke liye apni alag kitaabein pehle se maujood hain. Yeh us rozmarra ke, bina dikhaawe waale bachaav ke baare mein hai jo kisi bhi sankat se bahut pehle hota hai: woh judaav jo aam log de sakte hain, aur jo logon ko jeene se baandhe rakhta hai.
Ek aise insaan ke baare mein sochiye jo aapke zehan mein raha ho. Yeh kitaab khatam karne se pehle, use ek seedha sa message bhejiye jismein koi maang na ho. "Tumhaari yaad aa rahi thi. Jawaab dene ki zaroorat nahi." Yahi bachaav hai, jo shuru ho chuka hai.
Woh Galatfehmi Jo Hamein Poochhne Se Rokti Hai
Hum mein se kai log isliye chup reh jaate hain kyunki hamein dar hota hai ki aatmahatya ke baare mein poochhne se kahin kisi ke dimaag mein yeh khayaal na baith jaaye. Research saaf kehti hai: aisa nahi hota. Seedhe-saadhe dhang se poochhne se raahat mil sakti hai aur dard kam ho sakta hai.
Aam log jis sabse badi wajah se peechhe hat jaate hain, woh ek aisa dar hai jo akl ki baat lagti hai: "Agar main poochhoon ki kya woh apni jaan khatam karne ki soch rahe hain, to kahin main hi yeh khayaal to unke dimaag mein nahi bitha doonga?" Chup rehna zimmedaari waali baat lagti hai. Par aisa hai nahi.
Research ki ek baareek jaanch mein paaya gaya ki kisi se seedha poochhna ki kya woh aatmahatya ke baare mein soch rahe hain, isse unke dimaag mein yeh khayaal nahi aa jaata aur woh kuchh kar baithne ki taraf zyaada nahi jhukte. Balki, poochhe jaane se raahat mil sakti hai, aur woh vichaar thoda shaant ho sakte hain. Seedhe poochhne se yeh khayaal paida nahi hota; yeh to ek darwaaza khol deta hai, jise shaayad woh insaan isi intzaar mein tha ki koi khole.
Jo sawaal poochhne se aap darte hain, aksar wahi sawaal hota hai jiske poochhe jaane ke liye woh taras rahe hote hain.
To poochhein kaise? Seedhe aur pyaar se, bina kisi naatak ke. Aapko chaalaak shabdon ki zaroorat nahi. Aap keh sakte hain, "Pichhle kuchh dinon se tumhaare liye sab kuchh bhaari sa lag raha hai. Kabhi-kabhi jab log itna neeche mehsoos karte hain, to woh sochne lagte hain ki ab yahaan nahi rehna chaahte. Kya tumhaare man mein aise khayaal aa rahe hain?" Phir aap ruk jaaiye, aur unhein jawaab dene deejiye.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Agar woh haan kahein, to ghabraaiye mat aur use turant theek karne ki jaldi mat keejiye. Us pal aapka bas ek hi kaam hai: shaant bane rehna aur unke saath rehna. Aap keh sakte hain, "Mujhe bahut achha laga ki tumne mujhe bataaya. Ismein tum akele nahi ho, aur agla kadam hum saath milkar sochenge." Ek shaant, bina ghabraaye chehra unhein woh sach bataata hai jiski unhein sabse zyaada zaroorat hai: ki woh yeh zor se keh sakte hain aur phir bhi sambhaale jaa sakte hain.
Yaad Rakhein
Aatmahatya ke baare mein khulkar, apnepan se baat karna, bachaav hai, khatra nahi. Khatra chuppi mein rehta hai, sawaal mein nahi. Agar koi baatcheet aapko dara de, to aap hamesha madad le sakte hain: Tele-MANAS 14416 par unke liye hi nahi, aapke liye bhi maujood hai.
Jab aap akele hon, to ek baar yeh vaakya zor se bolkar dekhiye. "Kya tumhaare man mein apni jaan khatam karne ke khayaal aa rahe hain?" Ise ek baar akele mein keh lene se, jab sachmuch zaroorat ho tab ise narmi se kehna kahin aasaan ho jaata hai.
Chupke Se Aane Waale Ishaaron Ko Pehchaanna
Ishaare aam taur par shaant hote hain, naatkeey nahi. Khud ko samet lena, apni cheezein baant dena, ek bure daur ke baad achaanak shaanti, khud ko bojh kehna. Jab ek samaaj inhein pehchaanna aur narmi se poochhna seekh jaata hai, to kam log aatmahatya ki koshish tak pahunchte hain.
Hum sochte hain ki chetaavni ke ishaare zordaar aur saaf hote hain. Asal mein woh aksar shaant hote hain. Ek insaan ka doston aur parivaar se door khiskna. Bahut zyaada ya bahut kam sona. Aisi baatein kehna jaise "mere bina sab behtar rahenge" ya "main to bas ek bojh hoon." Apni pyaari cheezein doosron ko de dena. Jo kabhi achha lagta tha, usmein dilchaspi kho dena. Kabhi-kabhi hafton ke andhere ke baad ek anchaahi shaanti, jiska matlab yeh ho sakta hai ki koi faisla le liya gaya hai.
Inmein se koi bhi ishaara koi pakka saboot nahi hai, aur aap kisi ko koi nateeja nahi suna rahe. Aap bas pehchaan rahe hain, jaise ek khayaal rakhne waala insaan pehchaanta hai. Jab poora samaaj in shaant ishaaron ko pehchaanna aur narmi se ek baatcheet shuru karna seekh jaata hai, to kam log aatmahatya ki koshish tak pahunchte hain.
- Logon se door khiskna, chup ho jaana, tay kaam taal dena.
- Khud ko bojh kehna, ya yeh ki doosre mere bina behtar rahenge.
- Apni cheezein baant dena, ya apne kaam sametne lagna.
- Ek lambe bure daur ke baad achaanak, bina wajah ki shaanti.
Hamaare gharon mein, in ishaaron ko andekha karna ya bahaana bana dena aasaan hota hai. Hum kehte hain woh bas thaka hua hai, woh bas mood mein nahi hai, log kya kahenge agar hum baat ka batangad banaayein. Dikhaawe ko banaaye rakhne ka dabaav usi fikar ko daba deta hai, jiski wajah se hamein aur kareeb aana chaahiye. Us fikar par bharosa keejiye. Haalchaal poochh lena aam taur par sahi hi hota hai.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Kuchh karne ke liye aapka poora yakeen hona zaroori nahi. Agar aapka man kehta hai ki kisi ke saath kuchh theek nahi hai, to haath badhaane ke liye yahi kaafi wajah hai. Poochhkar aap un par koi ilzaam nahi laga rahe. Aap unhein, sabse saaf tareeke se, yeh bata rahe hain ki woh itne maayne rakhte hain ki aapne gaur kiya aur poochh liya. Agar aap galat bhi hon, to ek khayaal bhare sawaal ki keemat chhoti hai. Ek na poochhe gaye sawaal ki keemat sab kuchh ho sakti hai.
Un logon ko yaad keejiye jinse aap aksar milte hain. Kya unmein koi aisa hai jo pichhle kuchh dinon mein badal gaya hai, zyaada chup, zyaada bhaari, zyaada door? Isi hafte us ek insaan ka haalchaal poochhne ki ek chhoti si yojna banaaiye. Koi badi dakhalandaazi nahi. Ek mulaaqaat, ek phone, ek tehalna.
Haath Badhaana Aur Saath Bane Rehna
Jab aap haath badhaayein, to bolne se zyaada suniye, theek karne ki chaahat ko rokiye, aur saath bane rahiye. Sahi-sahi shabdon se zyaada maayne rakhta hai aapka maujood hona. Kisi ki jaan bachaane mein madad ke liye aapko uski zindagi suljhaani nahi hai.
Ek baar kisi ki taraf haath badha dene ke baad, hum mein se zyaadatar ke liye sabse mushkil hissa yeh hota hai ki ab aage kya karein. Hum use theek karna chaahte hain. Hum salaah dete hain, hal bataate hain, achhi baatein ginaate hain. Aam taur par, inmein se koi bhi kaam nahi aata. Jo kaam aata hai woh yeh hai ki aap saath bane rehte hain, aur aap sunte hain.
Unhein bolne deejiye, baat ko jhat se behtar banaane ki jaldi kiye bina. Aapke paas jawaab hone zaroori nahi. "Yeh to bahut bhaari lagta hai. Mujhe aur batao." kisi bhi salaah se zyaada keemti hai. Suniye, theek mat keejiye, aur saath bane rahiye; aapka bana rehna hi madad hai, aapke hal nahi. "Kam se kam" aur "bas koshish karo" jaisi baaton se bachiye. Baat ko apne baare mein mat banaaiye. Bas woh insaan baniye jo na ghabraaya aur na chhodkar gaya.
Bolne se zyaada suniye.
Khaamoshi ko rehne deejiye. Aap wahaan hawa bharne nahi hain, bas us khaamoshi mein unke saath rehne hain.
Theek karne ki jaldi mat keejiye.
Salaah aur achhe pehlu ginaane se bachiye. "Main yahin hoon" isse behtar hai ki "tumhein yeh karna chaahiye".
Saath rahiye, aur lautkar aaiye.
Ek baatcheet ek shuruaat hai, ant nahi. Kal phir aaiye, aur uske agle din bhi.
Madad milkar laaiye.
Yeh bojh akele uthaane ke liye nahi hai. Unke saath baithkar unhein madad ke liye phone karne mein saath deejiye.
Aapko hamesha nahi pata hoga ki kya kahein, aur yeh theek hai. Aap keh sakte hain, "Mere paas sahi shabd nahi hain, par main kahin nahi jaa raha." Is tarah ki sachchaai kisi bhi rate-rataaye jawaab se zyaada asar karti hai. Pareshaan insaan ko baad mein shaayad hi kabhi yaad rehta hai ki kisi ne koi chaalaak baat kahi thi. Use yeh yaad rehta hai ki koi saath khada raha.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Saath bane rehne ka matlab yeh nahi ki aap yeh sab akele uthaayein, aur na hi yeh ki aap har ghante uplabdh rahein. Iska matlab hai ki us insaan ko pata hai ki aap date hue hain, ki aap lautkar aayenge, aur ki aap unhein aapse bhi zyaada madad dhoondhne mein saath denge. Madad tak ka ek pul banna unhein aage tarka dena nahi hai; yeh to unhein thaamne waalon ka ghera bada karna hai.
Agli baar jab koi kuchh bhaari sa saajha kare, to poori baatcheet ke dauraan har salaah, har tip, har achhe pehlu ko rokkar dekhiye. Bas suniye aur saath rahiye. Gaur keejiye ki akele itna karna hi kitna kuchh sambhaal sakta hai.
Ek Mushkil Baatcheet Ke Baad
Baad mein gaayab mat ho jaaiye. Aane waale dinon mein haalchaal poochhte rahiye, narmi se unke aur kisi bhi khatarnaak cheez ke beech thoda waqt aur faasla le aane mein madad keejiye, aur milkar madad tak pahunchiye. Kisi ko bhi akele joojhne ke liye nahi chhodna chaahiye.
Ek mushkil baatcheet manzil nahi hai. Uske baad ke dinon mein aap jo karte hain, woh bhi utna hi maayne rakhta hai. Agle din ek message bhejiye. Uske agle din phir haalchaal poochhiye. Ek mushkil baatcheet ke baad narmi se haalchaal poochhte rehna, aur kisi ko sachmuch madad tak pahunchaana, aage nuksaan ki gunjaaish ko kam karta hai.
Ek shaant, kaam ki baat hai jo jaanein bachaati hai. Aatmahatya ke kai pal guzar jaate hain; agar ek insaan un palon mein khud ke aur kisi bhi khatarnaak cheez ke beech waqt aur faasla le aa paaye, to uske us daur se paar nikal aane ki gunjaaish kahin zyaada hoti hai. Aap narmi se madad kar sakte hain: "Jab tak haalaat itne mushkil hain, kya hum abhi ke liye koi bhi khatarnaak cheez aasaani se haath na lagne waali jagah rakh dein? Main madad kar sakta hoon." Ise pyaar bhare aur bina shor waale dhang se rakhna, woh sabse bachaane waali cheezon mein se ek hai jo aap kar sakte hain.
Milkar Madad Tak Pahunchna
Poora jawaab aapko hi banna zaroori nahi. Unke saath baithiye jab woh Tele-MANAS ko 14416 par phone karein, ya unke saath kisi doctor ke paas jaaiye. "Chalo yeh hum saath karte hain" ek daraawne kadam ko ek saajhe kadam mein badal deta hai. Madad lena unhein aage tarkaana nahi hai; yeh to unhein thaamne waale ghere ko bada karna hai.
Kisi ko bhi madad ke liye akele haath nahi badhaana chaahiye. Unke saath baithiye, milkar number milaaiye, aur tab tak line par bane rahiye jab tak koi phone na utha le.
Madad Karte Hue Khud Ka Khayaal Rakhna
Kisi aur ka dard thaamna bhaari hota hai. Madad karne waala hone ka matlab yeh nahi ki use akele ya chupchaap uthaaya jaaye. Khud ka bhi khayaal rakhiye, aur yeh dhyaan rakhiye ki aap aatmahatya ke baare mein kaise baat karte hain, taaki aapka khayaal bachaaye, nuksaan na pahunchaaye.
Itne dard mein kisi ke saath-saath chalna aapse kuchh nichod le jaata hai. Aap dare hue, thake hue, ya is baare mein anishchit mehsoos kar sakte hain ki aapne kaafi kiya ya nahi. Yeh kamzori nahi hai; yeh to khayaal rakhne ka sehaj bojh hai. Aapko ise mehsoos karne ka haq hai, aur aapko khud ke liye madad ki zaroorat hone ka bhi haq hai.
Ise chupchaap mat uthaaiye. Kisi ek bharose waale insaan ko, ya ek helpline ko dhoondhiye, jisse aap baat kar sakein ki aap kya thaame hue hain. Aur is baare mein narmi se baat keejiye, doosron se bhi aur khud se bhi. Hum aatmahatya ke baare mein jaise baat karte hain, usse uska asar badal jaata hai: bhayaanak byaure par tike rahein to nuksaan phail sakta hai; is par tikein ki us daur se paar kaise nikalein aur madad kahaan mile, to kahaaniyaan asal mein logon ko bacha sakti hain. Apna dhyaan ummeed, judaav, aur madad kahaan se mile, is par rakhiye, kabhi tareeke ya bhayaanak byaure par nahi.
Aapke Saath
Agar aap kisi aur ke liye datkar khade rahe hain, to ise saaf sun leejiye: khaali pyaale se aap kisi ko nahi pila sakte, aur khud madad ki zaroorat hona unhein niraash karna nahi hai. Kisi ek bharose waale insaan ko bataaiye ki aap kya thaame hue hain. Tele-MANAS ko 14416 par phone keejiye, sirf unke liye nahi, apne liye bhi. Khud ka khayaal rakhna, unka khayaal rakhne ka hi ek hissa hai.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Aap hamesha sab kuchh sahi nahi kar paayenge, aur aapko sahi karna zaroori bhi nahi. Bachaav koi ek bilkul sahi baatcheet nahi hai; yeh to saath khade rehne ke kai aam, adhoore-se pal hain. Agar aapne kisi ki taraf haath badhaaya aur saath bane rahe, to aapne wahi kiya jo maayne rakhta hai, un dinon bhi jab yeh bedhanga sa laga. Ise kaafi hone deejiye, aur baaki bojh uthaane mein kisi ko apni madad karne deejiye.
Aaj raat, ek aise insaan ka naam sochiye jiski taraf aap rukh kar sakein, agar kabhi kisi ka sahaara banna bahut bhaari lagne lage. Unka number, ya Tele-MANAS ka number 14416, kahin aasaani se milne waali jagah par sahej leejiye. Ek madad karne waala jise khud thaama gaya ho, woh doosron ko thaamta reh sakta hai.
Yeh jaankari kahan se hai
Aur padhne ke liye
Yeh guide samajhne mein madad karti hai. Yeh nidaan nahin hai. Uske liye doctor se milein.