Stigma aur Samaaj series
Hum man ki bimaari ko kaise dekhte hainShaadi, man ki bimari, aur parivaar kis baat se darte hain
Shaadi aur man ki bimaari ke daron ka imaandar, seedha jawaab.
Meera ki shaadi hui, aur aasmaan nahi gira
Daron ki baat karne se pehle, ek insaan se miliye. Bharat mein bahut saare log man ki bimari ke saath jeete hain, shaadi karte hain, aur bhari-puri, aam zindagi banate hain. "Kya hoga" ka dar bahut zordaar hota hai. Par jo zindagiyan asal mein jee jaati hain, unki shaant sacchai kahin zyada tikaau hai, aur parivaar jitna maante hain, usse kahin zyada aam bhi.
Meera 29 saal ki hai aur Belagavi ke ek bank mein kaam karti hai. Bees ke shuruaati saalon mein wah ek aisi takleef ke lambe daur se guzri jiska ilaaj hota hai. Yah waisi takleef thi jise sambhaalne mein doctor madad karte hain. Uske parivaar ki pehli fikr uski sehat nahi thi. Unki fikr uski shaadi thi. "Ab isse shaadi kaun karega," ek mausi ne lagbhag fusfusaate hue kaha.
Meera ne ilaaj karaya, wah tikaau kism jismein waqt lagta hai. Kuch saal baad uski mulaqaat kisi se hui, usne use apni kahani ka saccha roop bataya, aur usse shaadi kar li. Aaj wah kaam par jaati hai aur aam baaton ki fikr karti hai. Yah takleef ab uski zindagi ka ek sambhaala hua hissa hai. Jis shaadi ke kabhi na hone ka dar uske parivaar ko tha, wahi uski zindagi ki sabse tikaau cheez ban gayi.
Meera ki kahani koi anokhi baat nahi hai. Yah anokhi sirf isliye lagti hai kyunki parivaar aisi kahaniyan kam hi khulkar kehte hain. Sharm acche natijon ko chupa deti hai aur daron ko bolne ka mauka deti hai. Yah guide daron aur sacchai ko, shaanti se, agal-bagal rakh deti hai. Phir parivaar afwaah ke bajay saaf nazar se faisla kar sakta hai.
Parivaar asal mein kis baat se darte hain
Ye dar sacche hain aur inhein naam dena zaroori hai, taalna nahi. Bharat mein ye dar teen baaton ke ird-gird jama hote hain: kya is insaan ki shaadi ab bhi ho paayegi, kya yah bachchon mein jaayega, aur log kya kahenge. Kisi dar ko zor se kehna hi use theek se sambhaalne ka pehla kadam hai.
Bharat mein aksar shaadi hi wah jagah hoti hai jahan man ki bimari se judi sharm sabse zyada haqeeqat ban jaati hai. Kisi purani ya maujooda takleef ko shaadi ki raah ki rukaavat maan liya jaata hai. Yah wah cheez ban jaati hai jise shaadi ki baatcheet ke dauraan chupaya jaata hai. Yahi ek dar, bigadti shaadi ki ummeedon ka, parivaaron ko ise chupane par majboor karta hai. Yahi dar unhein madad lene mein der bhi karwata hai, us insaan ke liye bhi aur poore parivaar ke liye bhi.
Iske neeche do aisi soch baithi hain jo asal mein nuksaan pahunchaati hain. Pehli hai yah ummeed ki shaadi apne aap, ya bachche hona, kisi tarah is takleef ko theek kar degi ya thama degi. Doosri hai yah ki parivaar ki izzat ise chupaye rakhne par tiki hai. Ek jaanch-parakh mein, jahan parivaar kisi gambhir takleef waale apne rishtedaar ki dekhbhaal kar rahe the, sau mein se kareeb 46 log maante the ki shaadi bimari ko aur bigaad sakti hai. Phir bhi unhi parivaaron mein se kai yah bhi maante the ki shaadi ise theek kar sakti hai. Dono baatein ek saath sach nahi ho saktin. Izzat ki aur "log kya kahenge" ki fikr kai Asian samaajon mein ek jaisi hai. Yahi chupke-chupke us bahut bade faasle ko badhati hai jo un logon ke beech hai jinhein ilaaj ki zaroorat hai aur un logon ke beech jinhein yah sach mein milta hai.
Dar ko naam dena aur uske aage jhuk jaana ek baat nahi hai. Aap kisi fikr ko gambhirta se le sakte hain aur phir bhi yah jaanch sakte hain ki wah sach hai ya nahi.
Kya yah bachchon mein jaayega?
Yahi wah dar hai jo sabse bhaari padta hai, isliye iska sabse saaf jawaab banta hai. Maa ya baap mein koi takleef ho, to bachche ke liye mauka zaroor thoda badh jaata hai. Par yah aankhon ke rang ki tarah seedhe aage nahi chala jaata. Maa ya baap mein takleef ho, tab bhi zyadatar bachchon mein yah nahi ubharti. Khaandaan mein chalna ek badha hua mauka hai, koi pakki baat nahi.
Iska imaandaar beech ka sach yah hai. Jab maa ya baap mein koi gambhir man ki bimari ho, to bachche mein jawaani ki shuruaat tak aisi koi takleef ubharne ka mauka kareeb teen mein se ek ka hota hai. Yah aankda sach hai. Yah doosre parivaaron ke muqaable zyada hai. Aur ise aksar galat bhi samajh liya jaata hai. Zyadatar parivaar "yah to khaandaan mein hai" sunte hain aur chupchaap ise badhakar "yah to pakka hai" maan lete hain.
Yah pakka nahi hai. Teen mein se ek ka matlab hai ki kisi prabhaavit maa ya baap ke kareeb teen mein se do bachchon mein koi gambhir takleef bilkul nahi ubharti. Koi takleef bahut saare chhote-chhote gene ke asar aur zindagi ke haalaat ke mel se banti hai. Yah kisi ek viraasat mein mili kismat se nahi banti. Mauka badha hua zaroor hai, par sabse zyada mumkin natija, bade fark se, wahi bachcha hai jismein yah takleef nahi ubharti.
- Maa ya baap ki takleef bachche ke liye mauka badha deti hai. Yah baat sach hai.
- Mauka kareeb teen mein se ek ka hai, koi guarantee nahi.
- Iska matlab kisi prabhaavit maa ya baap ke kareeb teen mein se do bachchon mein yah nahi ubharti.
- Takleefein bahut saare gene aur zindagi ke haalaat se banti hain, kisi ek kismat se nahi.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Aankde ek aur baat chhod dete hain, aur wah maayne rakhti hai. Hum jin takleefon ki baat kar rahe hain, unka ilaaj hota hai. To jin bachchon ke chhote samooh mein kuch ubharta bhi hai, unki tasveer waisi pakki traasdi nahi hoti jaisa parivaar soch lete hain. Yah ek sehat ka maamla hai jo, bahut-si baaton ki tarah, dekhbhaal se theek hota hai. Khaandaan mein chalna aapko sirf mauke ke baare mein batata hai. Yah aapko yah nahi batata ki zindagi aakhir mein kaisi nikalti hai. Wah dekhbhaal, sahaare aur waqt par tikta hai, akele gene par nahi.
Kya batana hai, aur kab
Kya batana hai, yah ek sacchi uljhan hai, koi seedha haan ya na nahi. Kisi takleef ko chupane ki apni keemat hoti hai, aur use galat waqt par achanak ugal dene ki bhi. Ek raasta us insaan aur rishte, dono ko bachata hai. Wah hai kisi sambhaali ja rahi takleef ke baare mein ek imaandaar, sahi waqt par ki gayi baatcheet.
Parivaaron ko aksar sirf do hi raaste dikhte hain: ise poori tarah chupa lo, ya ek hi baar mein sab kuch kabool kar do. Dono hi bure saabit ho sakte hain. Chupane ka apna bojh hota hai: pakde jaane ka lagataar dar, aur baad mein bharosa tootne par hone waala nuksaan. Par imaandaari agar bedhange tarike se, bahut jaldi ya bina kisi sahaare ki baat ke saamne rakh di jaaye, to wah ek acche insaan ko daraakar door bhi kar sakti hai. Ho sakta hai thodi-si samajh ke saath wahi insaan ise aasani se apna leta.
Ek beech ka raasta hai. Yah takleef ko wahi maanta hai jo wah hai: kisi ki sehat ka ek saccha, ilaaj waala, sambhaala hua hissa. Aap ise imaandaari se aise kisi insaan ko batate hain jiske paas jaanne ki wajah ho, tab jab itna bharosa ban chuka ho ki wah ise sun sake. Kisi sambhaali ja rahi takleef ke baare mein ek imaandaar baatcheet rishte ko ise chupane ya yah dikhava karne, ki shaadi ise theek kar degi, dono se behtar bachati hai.
Yah baatcheet zyadatar sochne mein hi mushkil lagti hai. Asal mein yah ek insaan ka doosre insaan ko apni sehat ke baare mein koi sacchi baat bata dena hai. Yah waise hi hai jaise aap apne saath chalne waali aur sambhaali jaane waali kisi bhi takleef ke baare mein bataayenge. Aap kisi ajnabi ko apni poori sehat ki kahani batane ke liye majboor nahi hain. Par jis insaan se aap shaadi kar sakte hain, use apni zindagi ke ek hisse ke baare mein ek imaandaar, shaant baat batana zaroor banta hai. Unhein tab bata dein jab rishta itna gehra na hua ho ki saaf baat karna mushkil ho jaaye.
- Kise: aisa koi jiske paas jaanne ki sacchi wajah ho, jaise shaadi ka hone waala saathi.
- Kab: jab itna bharosa ban jaaye ki wah ise sun sake, sabse pehli mulaqaat mein nahi.
- Kaise: seedhe-seedhe, kisi sambhaale jaane waale sehat ke maamle ki tarah, kisi sharmnaak raaz ki tarah nahi.
- Yah kya nahi hai: kisi gunaah ka kaboolnama nahi, aur yah waada bhi nahi ki shaadi kisi cheez ko theek kar degi.
Do ya teen seedhe-saade waakyon mein, likhiye ki aap apni takleef ko kisi bharose waale insaan ko kaise bataayenge. Ise ek aise sehat ke maamle ki tarah rakhiye jise aap sambhaalte hain. Ise ek baar kaagaz par, shaanti se, keh dena us waqt kisi insaan se kehna kahin aasaan bana deta hai jab uska waqt aata hai.
Shaadi chal sakti hai, aur chalti hai
Ilaaj ho chuki koi takleef aur ek bhari-puri shaadishuda zindagi ek-doosre ke ulat nahi hain. Ye har roz saath-saath rehte hain, aam gharon mein, poore desh mein. Badi takleefon ke liye jo log ilaaj lete hain, unmein se zyadatar behtar hote hain, aur ek sambhaali ja rahi takleef shaadi, kaam, aur parivaar badhane ke saath poori tarah chal sakti hai.
Man ki bimari ka ilaaj hota hai. Badi takleefon ke liye accha ilaaj maujood hai, aur jo log wah ilaaj lete hain unmein se zyadatar behtar hote hain. Bharat mein adchan yah nahi hai ki ilaaj naakaam hota hai. Adchan yah hai ki jin zyadatar logon ko isse fayda ho sakta hai, ve is tak kabhi pahunchte hi nahi. Aksar yahi dar, jinki baat yah guide kar rahi hai, iski wajah bante hain. Jab ilaaj kisi insaan tak pahunch jaata hai, to ek sambhaali ja rahi takleef aur ek bhari-puri zindagi bas saath-saath chalte hain.
Ilaaj ho chuki koi takleef aur ek sacchi shaadi aapas mein takraav nahi hain. Ye, anginat aam gharon mein, ek hi zindagi hote hain.
- Ilaaj jo tikaau aur lagataar chalta rahe, shuru karke beech mein chhoda na jaaye.
- Imaandaari jaldi, taaki kisi ek insaan ko koi raaz na dhona pade.
- Ek saathi jo samajhta hai ki haalat ka bigadna bimari hai, koi dhokha nahi.
- Parivaar ka aisa sahaara jo madad kare, chupaye nahi.
Yaad
Shaadi koi ilaaj nahi hai, aur na hi yah koi dawa hai. Yah ek saajhedaari hai. Ek saajhedaari kisi sambhaali ja rahi takleef ko waise hi thaam sakti hai jaise wah do sacchi zindagiyon ke kisi bhi aur hisse ko thaamti hai. Ismein imaandaari, sabr, aur aisi dekhbhaal lagti hai jo chalti rahe. Yah koi pari-katha nahi hai. Yah zyadatar un jodon ke liye aam natija hai jo iska saamna khuli aankhon se karte hain.
Madad maangna aapka haq hai
In daron ka saamna kar rahe parivaar ko sirf afwaah aur khaamoshi par tike rehne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Man ki bimari ke saath jee rahe logon ko izzat, niji-jeevan, aur dekhbhaal ka kaanooni haq hai. Muft, raazdaar madad bas ek phone call ki doori par hai, aapki apni bhasha mein, kisi bhi waqt.
Bharat mein kaanoon us insaan ke saath hai, sharm ke saath nahi. Mansik Swasthya Dekh-rekh Adhiniyam, 2017 man ki sehat ki dekhbhaal ko ek haq maanta hai. Yah izzat, niji-jeevan, aur dekhbhaal tak pahunch ki hifaazat karta hai. Koi takleef sehat ka ek maamla hai, fusfusaahaton mein nipataya jaane waala koi kissa nahi. Aur iske saath jee rahe logon ka poora haq hai ki unke saath aise hi pesh aaya jaaye.
Iska yah bhi matlab hai ki aap andaazon ke bajay sahi jaankari pa sakte hain. Poore Bharat mein muft, raazdaar madad deshbhar ki Tele-MANAS helpline par 14416 number par milti hai, kisi bhi waqt, din ho ya raat. Shaadi, khaandaan mein chalne, ya kya batana hai, inhein taul raha parivaar phone karke apni hi bhasha mein sacche jawaab pa sakta hai. Unhein ab us par tike rehne ki zaroorat nahi jo kisi mausi ko aadha-adhoora yaad hai.
Agar ismein se kuch bhi bahut bhaari lage
Shaadi ko lekar dar, chupaav, aur dabaav us insaan par bahut bhaari pad sakte hain jo in sabke beechon-beech hai. Kabhi-kabhi kisi insaan ke, ya uske kisi apne ke, man mein yah khayaal aata hai ki ab jeene ka koi matlab nahi. Ise akele jhelte rehne ki nahi, balki abhi madad maangne ki wajah maaniye. Aap Tele-MANAS par, yaani muft deshbhar ki helpline par, 14416 number par phone kar sakte hain, kisi bhi waqt, din ho ya raat. Neeche jude sankat card mein aur bhi log hain jin tak aap pahunch sakte hain.
Is guide mein se ek dar chuniye jo aapke parivaar par baitha hua hai. Yah shaadi ki fikr ho sakti hai, khaandaan mein chalne ki fikr, ya "log kya kahenge". Ise ek line mein likhiye. Iske bagal mein, is guide se wah ek sacchi baat likhiye jo iska jawaab deti hai. Is kaagaz ko sambhaalkar rakhiye. Kaagaz par likhe sach se ulajhna dar ke liye zyada mushkil hota hai.
Yeh jaankari kahan se hai
Yeh guide samajhne mein madad karti hai. Yeh nidaan nahin hai. Uske liye doctor se milein.