The For You Series
AnxietyBechain man ke saath jeena
Ek shaant guide, us man ke liye jiska alarm bahut jaldi baj jaata hai, aur jo use dheema karke ek bhari-poori, sthir zindagi ji sakta hai.
Sirf chinta se kahin zyada
Ghabrahat aapke man ka alarm hai, jo apna kaam zaroorat se zyada baar karta hai. Yeh koi kamzori ya aapki koi kharabi nahi hai. Yeh aam baat hai, ise samjha ja chuka hai, aur sahi madad se yeh theek hoti hai.
Shayad aapse kisi ne kaha ho ki aap bahut zyada chinta karte hain, har baat par bahut sochte hain, ya aapko bas thoda shaant hone ki zaroorat hai. Aapne shayad pehle hi bahut koshish kar li hogi shaant hone ki. Ghabrahat sacchi thi. Par wo salah asli baat se chook gayi.
Har kisi ko kabhi na kabhi ghabrahat hoti hai. Kisi imtihaan ya interview se pehle man ka tez daudna aam baat hai, aur kaam ka bhi hota hai. Ghabrahat tab ek sehat ki samasya ban jaati hai, jab khatra tal jaane ke baad bhi alarm bajta rahe, ya jab koi asli khatra tha hi nahi. Aam chinta aati hai, samasya jitni badi ho utni hi rehti hai, aur guzar jaati hai. Ghabrahat tiki rehti hai, badhti hai, aur jis baat se shuru hui thi usse kahin badi ho jaati hai.
Aur yeh usse kahin zyada aam hai jitna zyadatar log sochte hain.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Bechain man ki chinta ka ek khaas tareeka hota hai. Wah seedhe sabse buri baat par pahunch jaati hai, phir us sabse buri baat ko aise maanti hai jaise wahi hone wali hai. Wah "agar aisa ho gaya to" poochti rehti hai, aur kabhi jawab nahi dene deti. Yeh sehat, paise, kaam, parivar, ya kisi aisi baat par atak sakti hai jise aap naam bhi nahi de sakte. Ye sochein sach jaisi lagti hain, aur isiliye andar se inse behes karna itna mushkil hota hai.
Ek baar, zor se bolkar kahiye: yeh mera alarm hai, aaj ki sacchai nahi. Ab apne aaspaas ki koi ek aam cheez dekhiye, jo abhi, isi waqt, bilkul theek hai. Wah bhi sach hai, aur wah poore samay sach thi.
Aapke shareer ka jhootha alarm
Ghabrahat shareer ka wahi purana bachaav wala alarm hai, jo tab baj uthta hai jab koi asli khatra nahi hota. Dil ka tez dhadakna aur saans ka tez chalna alarm hi hai, yeh is baat ki nishani nahi ki aapke shareer mein kuch gadbad hai.
Insaan ke paas bill ya deadline hone se bahut pehle, khatre mein shareer ka ek hi kaam tha: ladne ya bhaagne ke liye taiyaar ho jaana. Dil tez ho jaata hai, saans tez chalne lagti hai, maanspeshiyan kas jaati hain, pet mein halchal hoti hai. Yahi lado-ya-bhaago wali pratikriya (fight-or-flight) hai, aur jab asli khatra ho tab yeh kamaal ki hoti hai. Dikkat yeh hai ki bechain man ise un cheezon ke liye chaalu kar deta hai jo khatarnak hain hi nahi: ek email, ek bheed, ek soch.
Yeh us dhuein wale alarm jaisa hai jo itna naazuk hai ki toast banate hi cheekh pade. Alarm toota nahi hai aur aap kamzor nahi hain. Bas wah bahut neeche set hai, aur use kam kiya ja sakta hai. Dil ka zor se dhadakna alarm ka bajna hai, aag nahi.
- Koi wajah, aksar chhoti ya bas ek soch, alarm chaalu kar deti hai.
- Shareer lado-ya-bhaago se bhar jaata hai: tez dil, tez saans, kasi hui maanspeshiyan.
- Khatre jaisa lagta hai, par shareer surakshit hai aur wah lehar hamesha guzar jaati hai.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Isiliye bahut tez ghabrahat itni shaaririk lag sakti hai: chhaati mein dhadkan, haathon mein jhunjhunahat, yeh ehsaas ki kuch bahut bura hone wala hai. Yeh darawna hai, par ghabrahat ki yeh lehar alarm ka poori awaaz mein bajna hai, yeh na dil ka daura hai aur na paagal hone ki nishani. Yeh uthti hai, charam par pahunchti hai, aur apne aap neeche aa jaati hai, aksar kuch hi minton mein. Yeh jaanna khud ek auzaar hai.
Agli baar jab alarm baje, use saaf-saaf naam dijiye: "yeh adrenaline hai, khatra nahi." Phir dheere-dheere saans chhodiye, saans lene se zyada lambi. Yeh lambi saans chhodna shareer ka apna band karne wala button hai.
Taalne ka jaal
Jo darata hai usse bachna raahat deta hai, par yeh chupke se alarm ko sikha deta hai ki wah dar sahi tha. Taalna hi wah cheez hai jo ek guzarte dar ko ek sikudti zindagi mein badal deti hai.
Jab koi cheez aapko ghabrahat deti hai, to duniya mein sabse swabhaavik baat yahi lagti hai ki usse bacha jaaye. Kisi jamavde mein na jaana, message ko bina padhe chhod dena, lamba raasta lena, mana kar dena. Raahat fauran milti hai, aur yahi jaal hai. Har baar jab aap taalte hain, aapka man seekhta hai ki wah cheez sachmuch khatarnak thi aur bachkar nikalna hi ekmaatra raasta tha. To dar badhta hai, aur jo surakshit lagta hai uska daayra chhota hota jaata hai.
- Koi cheez khatre jaisi lagti hai, to ghabrahat uthti hai.
- Aap use taal dete hain, aur raahat fauran milti hai.
- Man seekh leta hai ki dar sahi tha, to agli baar wah aur mazboot hota hai.
Meera 27 saal ki hai aur Pune mein ek bank mein kaam karti hai. Bhari hui train mein ek buri ghabrahat ke baad, usne train ki jagah auto lena shuru kar diya. Phir usne lift se bachna shuru kiya, phir badi meetingon se, phir apne chachere bhai ki shaadi se. Har faisla samajhdaari bhara lagta aur raahat deta. Use pata hi nahi chala ki uski duniya ek-ek soch-samajhkar liye faisle ke saath sikud rahi thi, jab tak ki usmein bahut kam baaki reh gaya.
Jisne haalat badle wah yeh nahi tha ki usne khud ko ek hi baar mein bahadur banne par majboor kar diya. Ulta hua: jin cheezon se wah bach rahi thi unki taraf nanhe-nanhe kadam, itne chhote ki dar sehne layak bana rahe. Har baar jab aap taalte hain, raahat sacchi hoti hai aur chhoti. Jis dar ko yeh khuraak deti hai wah saccha hota hai aur bada.
Kisi ek chhoti cheez ke baare mein sochiye jisse aapne bachna shuru kiya hai. Sabse badi nahi. Sabse chhoti chuniye. Bas use naam dena hi is jaal se baahar ka pehla kadam hai.
Asal mein kya madad karta hai
Baahar ka raasta naram hai aur parkha hua hai: dar ka chhote-chhote kadmon mein saamna kijiye, saans dheemi kijiye, apni neend ki hifaazat kijiye, aur soch ke jaalon ko pakdiye. Aap ise ek hunar ki tarah banate hain, kisi button ki tarah nahi jise aap ek baar daba dein.
Sabse taakatwar ek kadam yeh hai ki dar se bhaagne ki jagah uska saamna chhote, soche-samjhe kadmon mein kiya jaaye. Jab aap ghabrahat ki ek sambhaali jaane layak maatra ke saath tike rehte hain aur use guzar jaane dete hain, to alarm dheere-dheere seekhta hai ki aap surakshit hain. Yahi ghabrahat ke liye sabse asardaar ilaaj ka dil hai, aur iska ek naram roop aap khud shuru kar sakte hain.
- Chhote mein saamna kijiye: dar ki taraf ek kadam lijiye, ek hi baar mein poora nahi.
- Dheemi saans lijiye: lambi saans chhodna alarm ko kam kar deta hai.
- Neend ki hifaazat kijiye: thaka hua man alarm aur aasaani se baja deta hai.
- Jaal ko pakdiye: "agar aisa ho gaya to" ko dekhiye, aur vaakya poora kijiye.
Soch ke in jaalon ko naam se jaanna faaydemand hai: seedhe sabse buri baat par pahunch jaana, kisi ehsaas ko sach maan lena, doosron ke man padhna, aur "agar aisa ho gaya to" wale sawaal jinka kabhi jawab nahi milta. Kisi bechain soch ke saath behes jeetna zaroori nahi hai. Aapko bas itna dekhna hai ki wah ek soch hai, sach nahi.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Kisi ek cheez ko parakhne se pehle ek hafta aazmaiye. Agar saans ke abhyaas aapko raas nahi aate, to hilna-dulna aazmaiye, ya chinta ko likh daaliye, ya ek chhoti sair. Un cheezon ko kam kijiye jo aag mein tel daalti hain: bahut zyada chai-coffee (caffeine), bahut kam neend, raat der tak buri khabrein scroll karte rehna. Yeh sab nidar ban jaane ke baare mein nahi hai. Yeh alarm ko dheema karne aur apni zindagi ko phir se bada karne ke baare mein hai.
Yaad
Dar ka kadam-dar-kadam saamna karna khud ko ekdam gehre paani mein phenk dene jaisa nahi hai. Hunar yeh hai ki ghabrahat ki utni maatra ke saath tike rahein jitni aap sambhaal sakein, itni der tak ki wah apne aap neeche aa jaaye. Chhota aur sthir, bade aur bahadur se behtar hai.
Pichhle panne se wah sabse chhoti taali hui cheez chuniye. Is hafte uski taraf ek nanha kadam tay kijiye, itna chhota ki aapko kaafi had tak bharosa ho ki aap kar sakte hain. Use ek baar karna, aur yeh dekhna ki aap bach gaye, yahi poora tareeka hai, chhote roop mein.
Madad kab lein
Jab ghabrahat zyadatar din bani rahe, aapki zindagi ko chhota kar de, ya aisi tez ghabrahat laaye jo shaaririk lage, to yeh madad lene ka ishaara hai, aur zor lagaane ka nahi. Madad kaam karti hai, aur uski taraf haath badhana ek taakat hai.
Kuch ghabrahat insaan hone ka hissa hai. Madad lena tab faaydemand hai jab yeh kabhi-kabhaar aane wale mehmaan na rehkar sab kuch chalane lage: zyadatar din aisi chinta jise aap band nahi kar paate, bina kahin se aayi tez ghabrahat, aisi neend jo aati hi nahi, ya aisi zindagi jo aapki taali hui cheezon ki wajah se chhoti hoti jaati hai. Inmein se kisi ka matlab yeh nahi ki aapmein koi kharabi hai. Iska matlab hai ki alarm ko phir se sahi karne ke liye theek sahaara ki zaroorat hai.
Madad sacchi hai aur kaam karti hai. Baatcheet wali therapy, khaaskar kadam-dar-kadam wali, maujood sabse asardaar ilaajon mein se ek hai. Kuch logon ke liye, dawa ek madad hai jis par doctor ke saath baat ki ja sakti hai, aur ilaaj aksar tab sabse accha chalta hai jab therapy aur rozmarra ka sahaara saath-saath hon. Dawa kai raston mein se ek hai, yeh na koi haar hai aur na iklauta raasta.
Mujhe lagta tha ki cheezon se bachna mujhe surakshit rakh raha hai. Wah to bas us duniya ko chhota kar raha tha jismein main ji sakti thi.
Meera, 27
Aur jaanna chahein to
Ghabrahat ke baare mein kisi doctor ya therapist se milna is baat ki nishani nahi ki baat bahut aage badh gayi hai. Yeh jaankaari hai aur aage ka ek raasta. Ek accha doctor aapki poori zindagi dekhta hai, aapki neend, kaam, rishte, aur sehat, aur aapke saath milkar sabse chhota faaydemand badlaav dhoondhta hai. Madad maangne ke liye kisi sankat tak pahunchna zaroori nahi hai. Bas itna kaafi hai ki aap chaahte hon ki aapki zindagi dar se badi lage.
Ek sawaal likh lijiye jo aap apni ghabrahat ke baare mein kisi doctor ya counsellor se poochna chaahenge. Use apne phone mein rakhiye. Sawaal taiyaar rakhna pehli mulaqaat ko kahin aasaan bana deta hai.
Aap is dar se kahin zyada hain
Ghabrahat wah cheez hai jise aap mehsoos karte hain, yeh aap nahi hain. Wahi gehri mehsoos karne ki aadat jo chinta ko hawa deti hai, aksar sacchi parwaah, gehraai, aur doosron par dhyaan bhi saath laati hai.
Bahut se logon ke liye sabse mushkil hissa dil ka tez dhadakna nahi hai. Wah hai yeh chupchaap maan lena ki ghabrahat hone se ve kamzor, naazuk, ya un sabse kamtar ban jaate hain jo sambhalte hue dikhte hain. Aisa maanna samajh mein aata hai, aur yeh galat hai. Ghabrahat ek alarm ki ek setting hai, yeh aapki keemat, aapki taakat, ya aapke bhavishya par koi faisla nahi hai.
Bechain man ke saath aksar sacchi taakatein bhi aati hain: yeh wah dekh leta hai jo doosre chook jaate hain, yeh gehraai se parwaah karta hai, yeh taiyaari karta hai, yeh cheezon ko poori tarah mehsoos karta hai. Kai Bhaartiya parivaron mein, chinta ko chupchaap dhoya jaata hai aur use kamzori kaha jaata hai, aur wah chuppi sabse bhaari us insaan par padti hai jo uske saath ji raha hota hai. Wah chuppi purane dar ki awaaz hai, aapke baare mein sach nahi. Aap koi samasya nahi hain jise theek karna hai. Aap ek insaan hain jo alarm ko dheema karna seekh raha hai, aur ye dono bilkul alag baatein hain.
Wahi man jo alarm ko itni zor se baja sakta hai, thodi dekhbhaal ke saath, phir se surakshit mehsoos karna bhi seekh sakta hai.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Ghabrahat ke saath aage badhna shayad hi kabhi seedhi rekha hoti hai. Kuch hafte dar chhota bana rehta hai aur kuch hafte wah bina kisi saaf wajah ke phir uth khada hota hai. Yahi iski shakl hai, yeh is baat ka saboot nahi ki aap naakaam ho rahe hain. Jo kaam aaya use rakhiye, jo hafte kaam nahi aaye unhein maaf kar dijiye, aur agla nanha kadam lijiye. Phir se, narmi se shuru karna, dobara shuru se shuru karna nahi hai. Yahi asli kaam hai.
Aapke saath
Agar ghabrahat kabhi aisi tez ghabrahat mein badal jaaye jise aap jhel na paayein, ya aisi sochon mein ki zindagi jeene layak nahi hai, to yeh wah pal hai jab haath badhana chahiye, akele zor lagaakar nikalna nahi. Aap Tele-MANAS par, jo muft rashtriya helpline hai, 14416 par kisi bhi waqt phone kar sakte hain, din ho ya raat. Neeche diye sankat card mein aur bhi log hain jin tak aap pahunch sakte hain.
Aaj raat, ek cheez likhiye jo aapne aaj ki, iske bawajood ki aapka ek hissa dara hua tha. Chaahe wah kitni bhi chhoti rahi ho, wah himmat thi. Yeh ek hafte tak kijiye, aur dekhiye ki yeh aapki apne baare mein soch ko kya karti hai.
Yeh jaankari kahan se hai
Aur padhne ke liye
Yeh guide samajhne mein madad karti hai. Yeh nidaan nahin hai. Uske liye doctor se milein.