Mind and Society
Everyday WellbeingKaam ki jagah par mann ki sehat
A warm, plain guide for a working adult living with a mental-health condition: what you owe others and what you do not, how to think about disclosure and adjustments, and where the real help lives.
Wo subah jab aap ise ghar par chhod nahi paate
Mann ki kisi takleef ke saath jeena aur saath hi naukri bhi sambhaalna mushkil hai, aur aisa kar paane ka matlab yeh nahi ki ek karmchari ke taur par aap mein koi kami hai. Bahut se log theek wahi uthaate hain jo aap uthaate hain, aur phir bhi apna kaam achhe se karte hain.
Kuch subahein aisi hoti hain jab sabse kathin hissa kaam khud nahi hota. Kathin hota hai aise mann ke saath ghar se nikalna jo bhaari uthaa ho, ya bechain ho, ya kahin door khoya ho, aur phir office mein ghuskar aisa dikhaana jaise kuch ho hi nahi raha. Aap email ka jawab dete hain, meeting mein baithe rehte hain, chai ke break par muskura dete hain, aur is poore waqt aap kuch aisa sambhaal rahe hote hain jo aapke aaspaas kisi ko dikhta nahi.
Agar yeh aap hain, to sabse pehle yeh sun lijiye. Kaam karne waale badon mein mann ki takleef aam baat hai, aur bahut se log jinhe aisi takleef rahi hai, wo aaj bhi kaam karte hain, aur achha bhi karte hain. Kaam par joojhna iska matlab nahi ki aap kharab ya kamzor karmchari hain; iska matlab hai ki aap ek insaan hain jo kaam karte hue kuch asli cheez bhi uthaaye hue hai. Andar se joojhna aur apne kaam mein achha hona, ye ek-doosre ke ulat nahi hain; bahut se log ek hi samay par dono hote hain.
Arjun ek project team chalaate hain. Kaagaz par sab theek hai; kaam samay par nikalta hai, client khush hai. Jo kisi ko nahi dikhta wo yeh hai ki kharab hafton mein ek saadharan message ka jawab dene mein kitni mehnat lagti hai, ya kaise plan mein ek chhota-sa badlaav unhe aisi ghabraahat se bhar deta hai jise wo samjha nahi paate. Unhone kisi ko nahi bataaya. Unhe yakeen hai ki jis din bata denge, log unhe alag nazar se dekhne lagenge, is intezaar mein ki wo kab toothte hain.
Arjun kamzor nahi hain, aur na hi naakaam ho rahe hain. Wo sachmuch ek mushkil kaam kar rahe hain, aur akele kar rahe hain. Is guide ka baaki hissa isi baare mein hai ki ise poori tarah akele uthaane ki zaroorat nahi, aur un chhote, samajhdaari bhare chunaavon ke baare mein jo is bojh ko halka karte hain: aap doosron ke kya haqdaar banaate hain, kiske nahi, aur asli madad kahan rehti hai.
Ek hafte ke liye, bas kaam ke un palon par dhyaan dijiye jo aapko sabse zyada bhaari padte hain. Abhi unhe theek karne ke liye nahi, sirf pattern dekhne ke liye: kaun-se kaam, din ka kaun-sa waqt, kaun-se log aapko nichod dete hain. Aap apni hi kaam ki zindagi ke baare mein chupchaap jaankari ikattha kar rahe hain.
Poori kahani sunaane ke aap kisi ke karzdaar nahi
Aapki sehat ki niji baatein aapki hain. Kaam par har kisi se unhe baantna zaroori nahi, aur unhe niji rakhna chunna ek waajib, izzatdaar chunaav hai, koi jhooth nahi.
Ek chupchaap dabaav rehta hai, khaaskar ek apnepan aur utsukta waali jagah par, ki aap apni safaai dein. Koi sahkarmi poochta hai ki aap ukhde-ukhde kyun lag rahe hain. Koi rishtedaar poochta hai ki chhutti kyun li. Mann karta hai ki ya to sab bata dein ya maafi maang lein. Aapko dono mein se kuch nahi karna. Jo niji hai wo tab tak niji rehta hai jab tak aap khud tay na karein, aur wo faisla sirf aapka hai.
Aap kuch kehte hain ya nahi, kab kehte hain, aur kisse kehte hain, yeh ek niji faisla hai. Yeh asli cheezon se tay hota hai: aapke aaspaas kitna taana-baana ya sharmindagi ka maahaul hai, aap us insaan par kitna bharosa karte hain, aur aapki kaam ki jagah sachmuch kitni saath dene waali lagti hai. Ismein kuch bhi chhupaane waali baat nahi. Yeh ek aisi jagah mein, jo hamesha surakshit nahi hoti, kisi niji cheez ko lekar aapka samajhdaar hona hai.
Yaad rakhein
Apni sehat ko niji rakhna kisi galti ko chhupaane jaisa nahi hai. Aapse yeh ummeed nahi ki jaati ki aap kisi shaaririk bimari ka ailaan poore office mein karein. Mann ki takleef bhi usi aam izzat ki haqdaar hai. Bataana ek chunaav hai jo aap apni sharton par karte hain.
Hamari kaam ki jagahon mein sahkarmi aur parivaar ke beech ki lakeer dhundhli ho jaati hai, aur "to sach mein ho kya raha hai" ek hi saath apnapan aur dabaav, dono lag sakta hai. Aapko ek seedhi, apnepan bhari had kheenchne ka haq hai. "Main sehat se judi kuch baatein sambhaal raha hoon aur main ise sambhaal raha hoon, poochne ke liye shukriya" yeh ek poora jawab hai. Yeh sach bhi bolta hai, darwaza bhi dheere se band kar deta hai, aur wo kuch nahi deta jo aapne dene ka nahi chuna.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Un logon mein farak hai jinhe kuch jaanna zaroori hai aur un logon mein jo bas utsuk hain. Takreeban kisi ko byore jaanne ki zaroorat nahi. Agar aapke kaam mein koi badlaav karna pade, to ho sakta hai manager ko itna jaanna pade ki aapko kisi chhoot ya pherbadal ki zaroorat hai, par tab bhi unhe aamtaur par takleef ka naam jaanne ki zaroorat nahi, sirf yeh ki kis cheez se madad milegi. Aap zaroorat bata sakte hain bina poori kahani bataaye.
Ek chhota, sachcha vaakya likh lijiye jo aap keh sakein agar kaam par koi aisa sawaal poochhe jiska jawab aap nahi dena chaahte. Ise apnepan bhara rakhiye aur band bhi rakhiye. Vaakya taiyaar hone ka matlab hai ki aap us pal mein achaanak phans nahi jaate.
Kya kehna hai, aur kisse, yeh tay karna
Agar aap kaam par kisi ko bataane ka chunaav karte hain, to sabse badi baat aksar bataana nahi hoti. Baat yeh hai ki ise kaise liya jaata hai. Saath dene waala jawab madad karta hai; taanakashi waala jawab aapko aur sharminda kar sakta hai. Bolne se pehle yeh taulne laayak hai.
Iska koi ek sahi jawab nahi ki aapko bataana chahiye ya nahi. Kuch log paate hain ki kisi bharosemand manager ko bataane se ek bojh utar jaata hai aur wo apni zaroorat maang paate hain. Kuch log paate hain ki unki khaas jagah par, filhaal chup rehna zyada surakshit hai. Dono samajhdaari ho sakti hain. Sawaal yeh nahi ki "kya sabko bata dena chahiye", sawaal yeh hai ki "mere liye, yahan, is insaan ke saath kya sahi hai".
Saboot jis or ishaara karte hain wo chupchaap ehem hai. Bataane ka nateeja kaisa niklega, yeh aksar bataane ki baat se nahi, balki isse tay hota hai ki saamne waala kaise respond karta hai. Saath dene waala senior aamtaur par behtar haalat ke saath judta hai; taana dene waala response zyada sharmindagi ke saath. To asli sawaal itna nahi ki "mujhe bataana chahiye ya nahi", balki yeh ki "kya yeh aisa insaan, aur aisa pal hai, jahan bataane par saath milne ki ummeed hai".
Mujhe yeh zaroorat nahi thi ki meri manager sab kuch samajh jaayein. Mujhe bas yeh jaanna tha ki agar maine unhe bataaya, to wo ise mere khilaaf nahi rakhengi. Jab mujhe is par yakeen ho gaya, to kehna aasaan ho gaya.
Arjun, team lead
To aap ise taulein kaise? Insaan ke baare mein sochiye, niyam ke baare mein nahi. Jab doosre jooj rahe the, tab kya unhone apnepan se jawab diya tha? Kya wo raaz ki baatein raaz rakhte hain? Kya koi khaas wajah hai ki aapko unhe bataana zaroori hai, jaise koi pherbadal jisse sachmuch madad milegi? Agar haan, to ek bharosemand insaan ko bataana aksar kaafi hai; aapko aamtaur par kahin bhi khule taur par kuch ailaan karne ki zaroorat nahi.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Waqt bhi maayne rakhta hai. Yeh baatcheet karne ke liye ek zyada tika hua hafta aamtaur par kisi sankat ke beech se behtar hota hai, jab sab kuch zaroori aur kachcha lagta hai. Aur aap chhote se shuru kar sakte hain: pehle kaam ki zaroorat bata dijiye ("badlaav se thoda pehle khabar mil jaaye to main behtar kaam karta hoon") aur zyada tabhi bataaiye jab aur jitna surakshit lage. Bataana koi ek bada iqbaaliya bayaan nahi hai. Yeh ek darwaze ko dheere-dheere, sambhaal kar kholna ho sakta hai jis par aapka haath bana rahe.
Kaam par ek aise insaan ke baare mein sochiye jis par aap sabse pehle bharosa karenge, agar aap kabhi kisi ko bataane ka chunaav karein. Aapko unse kuch kehna nahi hai. Bas yeh jaanna ki wo insaan kaun ho sakta hai, chunaav ko kam daraawna aur zyada apne haath mein lagne waala bana deta hai.
Chhote badlaav, aur chhutti ke baad lautna
Sahi ilaaj ke saath-saath kaam par vyavhaarik madad sachmuch kaam aati hai. Kaamon mein pherbadal ya ek tayshuda, dheere-dheere ki gayi waapsi ka matlab kam din barbaad hona aur kaam par achhe se lautne ka zyada aasaan raasta ho sakta hai.
Kabhi-kabhi jis cheez se sabse zyada madad milti hai wo chhoti aur vyavhaarik hoti hai: badlaav se thoda pehle khabar, dhyaan lagaane ke liye ek shaant jagah, kathin dinon mein lachile ghante, ya kisi bure daur mein kuch waqt ke liye halka bojh. Ye koi ehsaan ya khaas bartaav nahi hain. Ye wo rozmarra ke pherbadal hain jo ek kaabil insaan ko kisi kathin daur mein bhi achha kaam karte rehne dete hain.
Agar aapko chhutti leni padi hai, to waapas lautna daraawna lag sakta hai. Yahan saboot hausla badhaane waale hain. Kaam par vyavhaarik madad jab ilaaj ke saath milti hai, jaise kaamon mein pherbadal ya ek tayshuda, dheere-dheere ki gayi waapsi, bajaay iske ki seedhe har cheez mein jhonk diya jaaye, to isse log bimari ki kam chhuttiyaan lete hain aur kaam par achhe se laut paate hain. Ek charnon mein, sahaare waali waapsi aamtaur par ekaaek, poori waapsi se behtar kaam karti hai.
- Jahan ho sake, dheere-dheere lautiye, ek hi baar mein nahi.
- Kuch waqt ke liye halke ya pherbadal kiye hue bojh se shuru kijiye.
- Ek seedhi mulaaqaat tay kar lijiye taaki pareshaaniyaan jaldi pakad mein aa jaayein.
- Waapsi ko apne chalte ilaaj ke saath jodiye, uski jagah nahi.
Aapko ye badlaav yeh saabit karke nahi kamaane hote ki aap kitne bimaar hain. Ek chhoti, vyavhaarik baatcheet aamtaur par kaafi hai: "Kuch hafton mein dheere-dheere lautna mujhe achhe se waapas aane mein madad karega" yeh maangne laayak ek waajib baat hai. Ise is baat ke ird-gird rakhiye ki kis cheez se aap kaam kar paate hain, kyunki pherbadal isi ke liye hota hai.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Agar koi pakka waapsi-plan na diya jaaye, to bhi aap kisi bharosemand manager ke saath ise anaupchaarik tareeke se bana sakte hain: shuruaat mein kam ghante, abhi ke liye ek-do kaam alag rakh dena, aur ek taareekh jab yeh dekha jaaye ki kaisa chal raha hai. Ise seedha aur thos rakhiye. Maqsad hamesha ke liye kam kaam karna nahi hai; yeh hai pehle hi kathin hafte mein phir se toothe bina poori taakat tak lautna.
Ek aisa pherbadal likh lijiye jo abhi aapke kaam ke hafte ko zyada sambhaalne laayak bana de. Ise chhota aur khaas rakhiye. Bhale hi aap ise kabhi na maangein, ise saaf-saaf naam dena yeh jaanne ki pehli seedhi hai ki aapko sachmuch kiski zaroorat hai.
Jab aapka manager aapke saath ho
Ek manager jo taane ki jagah saath dekar jawab deta hai, ek asli, naapa jaa sakne waala farak laata hai. Kaam ki jagahein managers ko is tarah taiyaar kar sakti hain ki wo bina taak-jhaank kiye dhyaan dein, sunein, aur madad karein.
Har manager ko achhe se jawab dena nahi aata, aur yeh aksar training ki kami hoti hai, dil ki nahi. Par ek achha manager poora tajurba badal deta hai. Ek manager ya senior jo aapse taane ki jagah saath dekar milta hai, kathin daur kaise beetta hai ismein ek sachcha farak laata hai; wo jagahein jo apne managers ko dhyaan dene, sunne, aur bina taak-jhaank kiye madad karne ke liye taiyaar karti hain, apne logon ki behtar hifaazat karti hain. Ek manager jo sabse kaam ki cheez de sakta hai wo koi hunar nahi; wo hai ek tika hua, bina judge kiye diya gaya jawab.
Jab Arjun ne aakhirkar apni manager ko bataaya, to unhone ek saadharan aur sahi baat ki. Unhone na takleef ka naam poocha, na byoron mein taak-jhaank ki. Unhone kaha, "Bataane ke liye shukriya. Kaam par sachmuch kis cheez se aapko madad milegi?" Unhone kuch chhote badlaavon par sehmati bana li, aur wo beech-beech mein bina sir par sawaar hue haal poochti rahin. Kuch naatkeey nahi hua. Bas Arjun ko kaam thoda zyada mumkin lagne laga, aur khud ko iske saath thoda kam akela.
Agar aap itne khushkismat hain ki aapke paas aisa manager hai, to unhe saaf-saaf bata dena achha hai ki kis cheez se madad milti hai aur kisse nahi. Aur agar nahi hai, to yeh aapki kami nahi; yeh is baat mein ek khaali jagah hai ki aapki kaam ki jagah ne apne logon ko kaise taiyaar kiya hai. Aap phir bhi agle hisse mein diye doosre sahaaron par tik sakte hain, aur apni niji baatein un logon se niji rakh sakte hain jinhone aapka bharosa nahi kamaya.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Ek kaam ki baat yaad rakhiye: ek achhe manager ko aapka counselor banne ki zaroorat nahi. Unka kaam aapka ilaaj karna nahi hai. Unka kaam hai aapke liye itni waajib jagah banana ki aap apna kaam kar sakein aur sahi ilaaj le sakein, aur aapse kisi samasya ki tarah nahi, ek insaan ki tarah pesh aana. Yeh ek neechi kasauti hai, aur iski ummeed rakhna theek bhi hai.
Agar aapke paas koi manager ya senior hai jis par aap bharosa karte hain, to ek chhoti cheez par dhyaan dijiye jo wo pehle se karte hain aur jo madad karti hai, bhale hi aapne use kabhi naam na diya ho. Unki taraf se madad kaisi dikhti hai yeh jaanna, zaroorat padne par thodi aur madad maangna aasaan bana deta hai.
Asli madad kahan hai
Madad ke liye haath badhaana, chaahe wo kaam ki jagah ka sahaara ho, koi phone helpline ho, ya doctor, ek waajib aur asardaar kadam hai. Kaam par sahaara aur sahi ilaaj, dono saath milkar kisi ek akele se behtar kaam karte hain.
Aapko yeh sab akele nahi uthaana hai, aur aapko tab tak intezaar bhi nahi karna ki sab kuch bikhar jaaye. Madad ke liye haath badhaana, chaahe wo kaam ki jagah ka koi sahaara kaaryakram ho, koi phone helpline ho, ya doctor, ek waajib aur asardaar kadam hai, na ki aakhri chaara ya kamzori ki nishaani. Aur saboot baar-baar yahi dikhaate hain ki kaam par sahaara aur sahi ilaaj, dono saath milkar kisi ek akele se behtar kaam karte hain. Aapko kaam par ise sambhaalne aur ilaaj lene ke beech chunna nahi padta; dono saath-saath zyada mazboot hain.
Agar aapki kaam ki jagah par kisi bhi tarah ka sahaara hai, koi karmchari madad line, koi counselor, koi bharosemand HR waala insaan, to yeh jaanna achha hai ki wahan kya maujood hai, bhale hi aap uska kabhi istemaal na karein. Iske saath-saath, ek doctor theek se jaanch sakta hai ki kya ho raha hai aur ek plan banaane mein aapki madad kar sakta hai. Kuch muft helplinein bhi hain jin par aap apni bhaasha mein, bina apna naam bataaye, bas kisi aise insaan se baat karne ke liye call kar sakte hain jo samajhta ho.
Aapke saath khade hain
Un dinon mein jab sab kuch bahut zyada lage aur kisi ko bhi bataana naamumkin lage, yeh sun lijiye: madad maangna aapka bikharna nahi hai. Yeh aapka wo samajhdaar, himmat bhara kaam karna hai jo chupchaap poore hafte ka rukh badal deta hai. Aapko madad paane ka haq hai.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Aap dawaai ko bhi kai vikalpon mein se ek vikalp ki tarah soch sakte hain, kabhi bhi poora jawab nahi. Ek doctor kabhi-kabhi kisi aisi tarah ki dawaai ka sujhaav de sakta hai jo mann ko tikaane mein madad kare, baat karne waale sahaare aur kaam par vyavhaarik badlaavon ke saath-saath; aisa koi bhi faisla soch-samajhkar, aapke saath milkar liya jaata hai, aur kabhi bhi samajh aur sahaare ki jagah nahi. Baat yeh hai ki aapke paas ek se zyada darwaze hain, aur unmein se kisi ke liye bhi yeh zaroori nahi ki pehle aapko sab kuch suljha hua mile.
Ise band karne se pehle, ek chhoti cheez kar lijiye. Ek number ya naam bacha kar rakh lijiye jis tak aap pahunch sakein: koi helpline, koi doctor, koi HR sampark, koi bharosemand senior. Aapko aaj call nahi karna hai. Aapko bas yeh jaanna hai ki darwaza wahan hai, taaki kisi kathin din par yeh dhoondhne ki ek cheez kam ho.
Yeh jaankari kahan se hai
Aur padhne ke liye
Yeh guide samajhne mein madad karti hai. Yeh nidaan nahin hai. Uske liye doctor se milein.