The Family Guide
After the babyNayi Maa Ka Saath Dena
A warm, plain guide for the family around a new mother: how to see her, not only the baby, how to give support that truly helps, and how to spot when she needs a doctor, all without shame.
Chauthi Timahi Aur Nayi Maa
Bacche ke janm ke theek baad ke hafte maa ke liye ek bahut bada badlaav hote hain, uske sharir mein, uski neend mein, aur uski bhavnaon mein. Agar woh thaki hui hai, aankhein bhar aati hain, ya mann mein chinta rehti hai, to yeh aam baat hai aur insani hai, kisi kamzor ya buri maa ki nishani nahi.
Baccha aata hai, aur sab bacche ko dekhte hain. Yeh swabhavik hai. Lekin wahan ek doosra insaan bhi hai jo abhi-abhi ek bahut bade daur se guzra hai, aur uski taraf bhi dekhna zaroori hai. Maa ka sharir bhar raha hota hai, uski neend tooti-tooti rehti hai, uski bhavnaayein idhar-udhar bikhri hoti hain, aur uske poore din ka dhaancha ek hi raat mein badal jaata hai. Log kabhi-kabhi in pehle hafton ko chauthi timahi kehte hain, kyunki kai maayenon mein maa abhi bhi apni nayi zindagi mein dhal rahi hoti hai.
Janm ke baad ke hafton mein mann ka udaas rehna, bina kisi saaf wajah ke aansu aana, bahut thakaan, aur chinta, ye sab bahut aam baatein hain. Ek bade adhyayan mein, jismein bees hazaar se zyada bhartiya maataon ke aankde jode gaye, har paanch mein se kareeb ek maa ka mann itna udaas paaya gaya ki doctor use ek naam dete hain. To jo nayi maa mushkil mein hai, woh akeli bilkul nahi hai, aur usne kuch galat nahi kiya hai. Jis maa ko yeh sab mushkil lag raha hai, woh buri maa nahi hai; woh ek insaan hai jo abhi-abhi bahut kuch jhelkar aayi hai.
Jo parivaar yeh baat samajhta hai, aur is daur mein use narmi se sambhalta hai, woh use sabse komal sahara deta hai.
Meera ka abhi pehla baccha hua hai. Uski saas aur uski apni maa, dono madad ke liye ruki hui hain. Ghar mehmaanon, salaahon aur shor se bhara hai. Meera sabke liye muskuraati hai, par raat ko chupchaap roti hai aur tab bhi so nahi paati jab baccha so raha hota hai. Kisi ne kuch bhala-bura nahi kiya hai. Bas itna hai ki saara dhyaan bacche par chala gaya hai, aur beech mein khadi woh thaki, haari hui aurat dheere-dheere andekhi hoti jaa rahi hai, khud apni nazron mein bhi.
Use kisi ke use "theek" karne ki zaroorat nahi hai. Use kisi ke us par dhyaan dene ki zaroorat hai. Jo parivaar is daur se acche se nikalte hain, ve wahi hain jo pehle hi din se yaad rakhte hain ki us kamre mein ek nahi, do logon ki dekhbhaal karni hai.
Agle kuch dinon tak, bacche ko god mein uthaane se pehle, maa se pehle ek aasaan sawaal poochiye: "Tum kaisa mehsoos kar rahi ho, aur neend hui ki nahi?" Use jawaab dene dijiye, beech mein salaah dene ki jaldi mat kijiye. Kisi ka dhyaan milna khud mein ek tarah ki dekhbhaal hai.
Jab Madad Dabaav Ban Jaati Hai
Parivaar jo kuch kehta aur karta hai, acche mann se hi sahi, kabhi-kabhi woh bojh halka karne ki bajaay chupchaap aur bojh badha deta hai. Tulna, taane, aur "hamare zamaane mein to hum sab sambhal lete the" waali baatein, ye woh dabaav hain jo parivaar chaahe to na daale.
Zyadatar parivaar madad karna chaahte hain. Par jo sabse aam baatein hum kehte hain, unmein se kai sahara nahi, dabaav bankar girti hain. "Hamare zamaane mein to hum bina kisi cheez ke, bina kisi naatak ke sab sambhal lete the." "Dekho tumhari behen ne kitni aasani se sab kar liya." "Agar ek baccha bhi nahi sambhal paayi to log kya kahenge?" Inmein se har baat, chaahe halke mein hi kahi jaaye, ek joojhti hui aurat se yahi kehti hai ki uska joojhna uski apni kami hai.
Nayi maa ke aaspaas jo maahaul hota hai, uska uske mann par sachmuch bahut asar padta hai. Usi bade bhartiya adhyayan mein, pati ka saath na hona, ghar mein jhagde, aur dabaav ya rookha bartaav, ye sab baatein janm ke baad maa ke mann ke udaas hone se judi paayi gayin, aur beti ke janm par ghar ka rookha rukh bhi ek wajah tha. Tulna, taane, aur "hamare zamaane mein" waali baatein woh bojh hain jo parivaar chaahe to na daale.
"Log kya kahenge" waala sawaal aksar in hafton mein sabse zor se goonjta hai. Par nayi maa ka sukh-chain padosiyon ke sochne ki baat nahi hai. Yeh us kamre mein maujood logon ki baat hai, aur ve tay kar sakte hain ki us shor se use bachaayein, na ki use aage badhaayein.
Sab mujhe bataate rahe ki unka waqt kitna mushkil tha. Mujhe koi muqabla nahi chahiye tha. Mujhe koi chahiye tha jo mere paas baithe.
Ek nayi maa
Aur jaanna chahein to
Ek maa ki doosri maa se, ya ek bacche ki doosre bacche se tulna karna lagbhag kabhi kaam nahi aati aur aksar chubhti hai. Har janm, har sharir, aur har baccha alag hota hai. Jo baccha aasani se doodh peeta hai ya acche se sota hai, woh kisi behtar maa ki nishani nahi hai, aur jo aisa nahi karta, woh kisi kamtar maa ki nishani nahi hai. Jab mann mein koi tulna uthe, to use rok lena hi accha hai. Use kisi aur se naapne ki bajaay, woh jo kar rahi hai uski taareef kijiye.
Agli baar "hamare zamaane mein" ya tulna waala vaakya munh se nikalne se pehle use pakadiye, aur uski jagah uske saath khadi hone waali koi baat kahiye: "Tum ek mushkil kaam kar rahi ho, aur acche se kar rahi ho." Dekhiye kaise uske kandhe halke ho jaate hain jab dabaav girne ki bajaay utar jaata hai.
Woh Saath Jo Vaaqai Madad Karta Hai
Jo saath sabse zyada kaam aata hai woh garmjoshi bhara aur kaam ka hota hai: accha khaana, sach mein aaraam, bacche ko kuch der sambhal lena taaki woh saans le sake, aur use na aankna. Yeh uske kaam ka bojh hi nahi, uske mann ko bhi halka karta hai.
Saath dena koi badi baat hone ki zaroorat nahi. Sabse kaam ki cheezein choti aur roz ki hoti hain. Bina kahe uske liye khaana bana dijiye. Bacche ko thodi der sambhal lijiye taaki woh naha sake, garam khaana kha sake, ya bas so sake. Ghar ko shaant rakhiye. Aur sabse badhkar, use mat aankiye, chaahe woh bacche ko doodh pila rahi ho ya nahi, ro rahi ho ya nahi, aapki tarah sambhal rahi ho ya nahi.
Is tarah ka garmjoshi bhara, kaam aane waala saath sirf bhala hi nahi hai, woh sachmuch uske mann ko halka karta hai. Janm ke baad mann ke udaas hone ko rokne ke tareekon par ek badi sameeksha mein paaya gaya ki jo tareeke narmi se, insaan ko kendra mein rakhkar sunne, doosron ke saath, aur pati ko shaamil karne par bane the, ve sabse zyada madadgaar the, aur maataon ne khud apne pati ke shaamil hone aur kisi aise insaan se mann ki baat kar paane ko ahmiyat di jise sach mein unki parwaah ho. Garmjoshi bhari, kaam aane waali madad badal deti hai ki woh kaisa mehsoos karti hai, sirf use kitna kaam karna hai, yeh nahi.
To jo khaana aap banaate hain aur neend ka jo ek ghanta aap bacha lete hain, woh uske kaam ka bojh halka karne se kahin zyada kar raha hai. Woh uske mann ko thaam raha hai.
- Khaana banaaiye aur laakar dijiye, taaki woh garam khaana khaaye aur aaraam kare.
- Bacche ko thodi der sambhaaliye, taaki woh naha sake ya so sake.
- Bina aanke suniye, aur pati ko bhi saath mein shaamil hone dijiye.
- Ghar ko shaant rakhiye, aur use taanon aur tulna se bachaaiye.
Do baaton ka khaas zikr zaroori hai. Pehli, pati. Sanyukt parivaar mein yeh aasaan hota hai ki bacche ko poori tarah aurton par chhod diya jaaye, par jo pita maujood rehta hai, jo bacche ko god mein leta hai aur maa se poochta hai ki woh kaisi hai, woh uske sabse mazboot saharon mein se ek hai. Doosri, sunna. Kabhi-kabhi sabse raahat dene waali cheez koi salaah nahi hoti, balki koi jo paas baithe, poochhe ki woh sach mein kaisi hai, aur bas uski baat sun le.
Yaad Rakhiye
"Main kya madad kar sakta hoon?" yeh sawaal accha hai. Par "Tum so jaao, baccha main sambhal leta hoon, fikr mat karo" yeh karke dikhaana aur bhi behtar hai. Thaki hui maa ke paas aksar itni taakat nahi hoti ki woh kaam baant sake. Narmi se aage badhiye aur bina kahe uske sar se ek kaam utaar lijiye.
Is hafte ek kaam ki cheez chuniye aur bas chupchaap, baar-baar karte rahiye: din mein ek garam khaana, ek pakki neend, ek ghanta jab baccha aapka ho aur woh aazaad ho. Ek bharose ki cheez, bina kisi halle ke ki hui, das baar "batao kya madad karoon" kehne se zyada keemti hai.
Pehchaanna Ki Use Doctor Ki Zaroorat Hai
Pehle kuch dinon mein mann ka udaas rehna aam hai aur aksar apne aap theek ho jaata hai. Par jab bhaaripan, niraasha, ya daraane waale khayaal kareeb do hafte se zyada tikein, to yahi woh ghadi hai jab narmi se use doctor ke paas le jaane mein madad karni chahiye.
Zyadatar nayi maataon ke kuch udaas, rone waale din hote hain, aur ye aksar apne aap halke ho jaate hain. Asal baat tab hai jab udaasi halki na ho. Agar udaasi, niraasha, bacche ke sone par bhi neend na aana, na khaana, bacche se door hatte jaana, ya daraane waale khayaal kareeb do hafte se zyada tikein, to yahi woh ghadi hai jab doctor ke paas jaana chahiye. Yeh us par koi thappa lagaane ki baat nahi hai. Yeh sahi waqt par sahi madad dilaane ki baat hai.
Jaldi madad lena sachmuch faaydemand hai. Agar dhyaan na diya jaaye, to janm ke baad ki lambi chalne waali udaasi maa ki apni sehat par, bacche se uske judaav par, aur yahan tak ki bacche ke doodh peene, sone aur shuruaati badhat par bhi asar daal sakti hai, aur yahi wajah hai ki der karne ki bajaay jaldi kadam uthaana maayne rakhta hai. Janm ke baad ka lagaataar bhaaripan aisi cheez hai jismein doctor madad kar sakte hain, aur jaldi madad lena intzaar karne se kahin zyada dayaalu hai.
Agar woh kabhi yeh kahe ki uska yahan rehne ka mann nahi, ya khud ko ya bacche ko nuksaan pahunchaane ki baat kare, to ise turant ki baat samajhiye. Na bahes kijiye, na use sharminda kijiye. Uske saath rahiye, use aur bacche ko surakshit rakhiye, aur usi din kisi doctor ya helpline tak pahunchiye.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Aam thakaan aur doctor ki zaroorat waali cheez mein farq bata paana mushkil ho sakta hai. Kuch naram ishaare jinse lage ki madad lena theek rahega: woh kai dinon tak na muskuraayi ho aur na hi use koi halkapan mehsoos hua ho, mauka milne par bhi so na paati ho, usne khaana ya apna khayaal rakhna chhod diya ho, woh dari hui ya door-door si lage, ya woh bacche ke liye koi garmaahat mehsoos na kar paaye. Inmein se koi bhi baat use buri maa nahi banaati. Ye is baat ke ishaare hain ki tanaav mein dabe sharir aur mann ko kuch sahare ki zaroorat hai, bilkul waise hi jaise kisi aur beemari mein hoti.
Poore parivaar ke saath milkar ek aasaan baat tay kar lijiye: "Agar do hafte baad bhi yeh bhaari sa ehsaas bana raha, to hum saath mein doctor ke paas jaayenge, na koi sharm, na koi halla." Ise pehle hi zor se keh dene par baad mein is par kadam uthaana aasaan ho jaata hai.
Uski Neend Aur Uski Jagah Ko Bachaana
Nayi maa ki neend ki hifaazat karna asli dawa hai, koi laad-pyaar nahi. Raat ko bacche ko sambhal lena, mehmaanon aur shor ko kam rakhna, aur use aaraam karne dena, ye parivaar ke sabse kaam ke kaamon mein se hain.
Mehmaanon aur khushiyon ki bhaagdaud mein, ek cheez jo nayi maa ko lagbhag kabhi nahi milti, woh hai aaraam. Jabki neend shayad woh sabse taaqatwar sahara hai jiski parivaar hifaazat kar sakta hai. Raat ko bacche ko thodi der sambhal lena taaki woh so sake, mehmaanon ke na rukne waale taante ko chhota rakhna, aur ghar ko shaant rehne dena, ye koi choti-moti shishtachaar waali baatein nahi hain. Ye dawa hain.
Yeh sirf ek ehsaas nahi hai. Kai pariksha on ko jodkar ki gayi ek badhiya sameeksha mein, janm ke baad pehle saal mein nayi maataon ko behtar neend dilaane se unke mann ki udaasi ke lakshan sachmuch kam gambhir hue. Uski neend ki hifaazat karna asli dawa hai, koi laad-pyaar nahi. To ghar ka woh sadasya jo raat do baje ki feeding sambhalta hai, ya jo narmi se mehmaanon ko kisi aur din aane ko kehta hai, woh uske liye sachmuch bahut taaqatwar kaam kar raha hai.
Jagah bhi maayne rakhti hai. Use thodi si apni jagah chahiye, ek kona jahaan woh jaakar baith sake, ek darwaaza band karne ki chhoot. Bhare-poore sanyukt ghar mein iske liye thoda intzaam karna padta hai, par yeh karne laayak hai.
Uske Saath Khade Hokar
Har mehmaan jise narmi se lauta diya jaaye, shor ka har woh ghanta jise chup karaaya jaaye, raat ki har woh feeding jo koi aur chupchaap sambhal le, yeh ek aisa tohfa hai jo maangne ki taakat shayad usmein na ho. Zaroori nahi ki woh iske liye kahe. Uske aaraam ki hifaazat karna ghar ke sabse pyaar bhare kaamon mein se ek hai jise parivaar khud tay kar sakta hai.
Is hafte ek aasaan si raat ki yojna banaaiye taaki use ek bina tooti neend mil sake: koi aur un ghanton mein bacche ko sambhaale, aur phone tatha darwaaze ki ghanti chup rahein. Ek acchi neend ki bhi hifaazat karna darjan bhar pyaari baaton se zyada keemti hai.
Bina Sharm Ke Madad Lena
Madad maangna parivaar par koi sharm ki baat nahi hai. Jo parivaar madad lene ko ek aam dekhbhaal maanta hai, woh uski raah mein khadi sabse badi rukaawat ko hata deta hai.
Madad maangne ke baare mein ek chupchaap si sacchai yeh hai. Zyadatar nayi maataon ko jo rokta hai woh doctoron ya dawa ki kami nahi hai. Woh hai sharm, is baare mein galat khayaal ki yeh udaasi kya matlab rakhti hai, aur yeh mehsoos hona ki koi unke saath nahi hai. Nayi maataon ko madad maangne se kya rokta hai, is par ek sameeksha mein theek yahi paaya gaya: kalank ka dar, galatfehmi, aur khud ko besahara mehsoos karna, ye sabse badi rukaawatein thin, jabki aaspaas aise log jo sach mein saath dete, aur bina aanke apnaate, in sabse madad maangna kahin zyada aasaan ho jaata tha. Jo parivaar madad lene ko ek aam dekhbhaal maanta hai, woh uski raah ki sabse badi rukaawat hata deta hai.
To parivaar yahan sirf ek tamaashbeen nahi hai. Woh wahi hai jo sab tay karta hai. Jab uske aaspaas ke log uske mann ke liye doctor ke paas jaane ko bukhaar ke liye doctor ke paas jaane se alag nahi maante, to sharm ki pakad apne aap dheeli pad jaati hai.
Ismein se kisi ke liye bhi us par koi beemari ka naam kehne ki, ya padosiyon ke kaan mein padne waala koi thappa lagaane ki zaroorat nahi hai. Iske liye bas ek aisa ghar chahiye jo saaf aur garmjoshi se kahe ki madad lena nayi maa ki dekhbhaal ka ek aam hissa hai, aur is parivaar mein koi bhi iske liye use kam nahi aankega.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Darwaaza kholne ke aasaan, naram tareeke bhi hain. Aap keh sakte hain, "Bacche ke baad bahut si maataon ko aisa lagta hai, aur aise log hain jo madad kar sakte hain; kyun na hum saath mein ek baar doctor se baat kar lein?" Uske saath jaane ki peshkash kijiye, taaki use yeh akele na jhelna pade. Ise niji aur aam baat rakhiye, koi poore parivaar ki aapaat baithak nahi. Aur use chote-chote tareekon se yaad dilaate rahiye ki madad maangna taakat aur apne bacche ke liye pyaar ki nishani hai, kabhi haar ki nahi.
Is hafte usse ek vaakya kahiye jo is baat se sharm ko hata de: "Agar tumhein kabhi kisi se baat karni ho, kisi doctor ya helpline se, to hum tumhari madad karenge, aur koi tumhein zara bhi kam nahi aankega." Phir ise sach mein nibhaaiye, chupchaap, uske baad har din.
Yeh jaankari kahan se hai
Aur padhne ke liye
Yeh guide samajhne mein madad karti hai. Yeh nidaan nahin hai. Uske liye doctor se milein.