The Partner's Guide
AnxietyGhabrahat ke saath jeene wale se pyaar
Ghabrahat ke saath ji rahe pati, patni ya saathi ke liye ek garam guide: bharosa dilaane ke chakra se kaise niklein, chhote bahadur kadmon mein saath dein, aur khud ka khyaal rakhte hue jodi bane rahein.
Wo chinta jo kabhi poori tarah band nahi hoti
Agar "agar aisa ho gaya to" wale sawaal kabhi thamte hi nahi, agar chhoti-chhoti yojnaayein badi guttiyon mein badal jaati hain, aur agar aapne har cheez ko isi chinta ke ird-gird sambhalna shuru kar diya hai, to yeh thakan aapki kalpana nahi hai. Kuch sach mein ho raha hai, aur uska ek naam hai.
Ab tak aap iski shakl pehchaanne lage hain. Wo chinta jo kabhi poori tarah band nahi hoti. Raat mein baar-baar laut aane wale "agar aisa ho gaya to". Jaanchna, phir se jaanchna, aur wo tareeka jisse ek seedha-saada baahar jaana, ghar se nikalne se pehle hi sawaalon ki ek gutti ban jaata hai. Aur in sabke neeche, aapke andar, ek chupchaap thakan jise aap hamesha maante bhi nahi.
Yeh jaanne mein sach mein raahat hai ki iska ek naam hai, yeh aam hai, aur iska ilaaj hota hai. Is pattern ko sirf jhelna nahi, samajhna zaroori hai. Aapke saathi ke saath kya ho raha hai yeh sirf ek doctor hi bata sakte hain, aur yeh kitaab un par koi label nahi lagaati. Yeh isliye hai taaki aap samajh sakein ki aap dono kiske saath ji rahe hain, aur taaki aap khud ko khoye bina madad kar sakein. Aapka ise uthana hi bilkul sahi samajh ka ishaara hai.
Thaka hua mehsoos karne se aap koi bure saathi nahi ban jaate. Aise kisi se pyaar karna jiska man har waqt garam rehta hai, sach mein mehnat ka kaam hai. Aur yeh saaf-saaf kehna zaroori hai: ghabrahat ek sehat ki samasya hai, koi charitra ki kami nahi, aur na hi is baat ki nishani ki aapka saathi aap par bharosa nahi karta ya aapse pyaar nahi karta.
Meera ki shaadi Arjun se hue paanch saal ho gaye hain. Wah samajhdaar aur acche insaan hain, par unka man aise khatre ke liye tan jaata hai jo shayad hi kabhi aata hai. Kisi safar se pehle wah ticket chhe baar jaanchte hain. Meera ke maata-pita ke aane se pehle wah raat bhar jaagkar sochte rehte hain ki kya-kya galat ho sakta hai. Meera wahi ban gayi hai jo shaant karti hai, jo bharosa dilaati hai, jo chupchaap un yojnaon ko radd kar deti hai jo unhein bechain kar deti hain, aur aajkal wah ek aisi thakan se bhari rehti hai jise wah naam bhi nahi de paati.
Meera ne kuch galat nahi kiya hai, aur na hi Arjun ne. Wah jo dho rahi hai wah saccha hai, aur wah jisse jujh rahe hain wah bhi saccha hai. Ghabrahat aur ek rishta ek-doosre ko dono taraf se kheenchte hain, isliye yeh samasya nazdeeki ko ghis sakti hai, jabki thakan chupchaap chinta ko hawa deti rehti hai, aur yeh bojh saathi par kitna padta hai, is par ab bhi bahut kam baat hoti hai. Yeh na usmein koi kami hai aur na usmein koi naakami. Yeh ek pattern hai, aur pattern tab badal sakte hain jab aap unhein dekh paayein.
Do din tak, bas dekhiye, us pal mein ise uthaaye bina. Chinta kab charam par pahunchti hai, subah, paise, safar, parivar ke aane par? Aap dono kab aasaan aur kareeb mehsoos karte hain? Aap abhi kuch theek nahi kar rahe. Aap bas apne hi chakra ki shakl samajh rahe hain.
Wo alarm jo bina aag ke bajta hai
Ghabrahat shareer ka wah alarm hai jo oonchi awaaz mein atak gaya hai. Bachna, baar-baar bharosa maangna, chhoti-chhoti baat par gussa, ye sab is samasya ki awaaz hain, is baat ka paigaam nahi ki aapka saathi aapki kitni parwaah karta hai.
Yahi wah hissa hai jo sab kuch badal deta hai, ek baar aap dono ise maan lein. Ghabrahat shareer ka wah alarm hai jo oonchi awaaz mein atak gaya hai: tez dil, kasi hui chhaati, aise khatre ke liye tana hua man jo sach mein wahan hai hi nahi. Aapke saathi ke liye yeh alarm saccha hai, chaahe aag na ho, aur yahi wah samasya hai, himmat ki kami nahi.
Yeh kamzori nahi hai, aalas nahi hai, aur na hi aisi koi cheez jise ve bas zyada koshish karke ya accha sochkar band kar sakein. Bachna aur bharose ki zaroorat is samasya ki awaaz hain, aap par koi faisla nahi. Jab aapka saathi jhalla uthta hai, ya yojna radd kar deta hai, ya chup ho jaata hai, to aksar uske neeche dar hota hai, aapko thukraana nahi. Jis insaan se aap pyaar karte hain use us samasya se alag karna jo wah dho raha hai, yahi sabse mukt kar dene wala badlaav hai jo aap kar sakte hain.
Jis din main samjhi ki alarm bina aag ke baj raha tha, maine har radd hui yojna ko is saboot ki tarah lena band kar diya ki wah mere saath nahi rehna chaahta.
Meera, 31
Yeh isliye maayne rakhta hai ki dosh kya karta hai. Jab bachna aisa lage ki "use parwaah nahi hai", to har radd hui yojna ek chot jaisi lagti hai, aur aap aur sakht hokar khud ka bachaav karte hain. Jab yeh aisa lage ki "uska alarm oonchi awaaz mein ataka hai", to aap ek-doosre ke aamne-saamne khade hone ki jagah samasya ke ek hi taraf khade ho sakte hain.
Kai Bhaartiya gharon mein faisla jaldi aa jaata hai, rishtedaaron se, sasural waalon se, kabhi-kabhi aapke apne hi man ke andar se: wah mushkil hai, wah naatakbaaz hai, dekho baaki jodon ke liye kitna aasaan hai. Wah faisla bhaari hai aur galat hai. Dikkat aap dono mein se kisi ka charitra nahi hai. Yeh ek alarm hai jise kabhi samjha ya shaant nahi kiya gaya.
Yaad rakhiye
Yeh bartaav wah insaan nahi hai. Bachna, jaanchna, baar-baar bharosa maangna, thaka hua hone par chhoti-si baat par bhadak jaana, ye ghabrahat ki khaasiyatein hain, is baat ke ishaare nahi ki aapka saathi aapse kitna pyaar karta hai. Ise chupchaap, apne aap se, naam dena sabse kathin palon ki chubhan kam kar deta hai.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Ghabrahat ko insaan se alag karne ka matlab har baat ko maaf kar dena ya yeh dikhaava karna nahi ki aap par pada bojh saccha nahi hai. Iska matlab hai ki aap ek aise charitra se ladna band kar dete hain jo aapne khud gadha tha, aur ek aisi samasya par kaam karna shuru karte hain jise aap sach mein baant sakte hain. "Tumhare man ko yeh darawna lagta hai, aur main thaki hui hoon, to chalo iska saamna saath milkar karein" ek aisa vaakya hai jiske paas aap dono khade ho sakte hain. "Tum sab kuch barbaad kar rahe ho" aisa vaakya nahi hai.
Bharosa dilaana, bachna, aur phir se wahi ghoomna
Zyadatar jode usi ek chakra mein phisal jaate hain: aapka saathi bechain mehsoos karta hai, aap jaldi se bharosa dilaane ya darawni cheez uski thaali se hataane ke liye daud padte hain, ek ghante ke liye sabko accha lagta hai, aur dar chupchaap agli baar ke liye aur bada ho jaata hai.
Yeh chakra naram aur acche iraade wala hai, aur theek isiliye ise pakadna itna mushkil hai. Aapka saathi bechain mehsoos karta hai. Aap bharosa dilaane ke liye daud padte hain, ya chupchaap darawni cheez uski thaali se hata dete hain. Ek ghante ke liye sabko accha lagta hai. Aur dar, khuraak paakar, agli baar ke liye thoda aur bada ho jaata hai. Ise accommodation kehte hain, aur yeh pyaar se aata zaroor hai, par yeh ghabrahat ko sikha deta hai ki jis cheez se dar lagta hai wah sach mein khatarnak hai.
Aap khud ko wo phone karte hue pa sakte hain jinse ve ghabraate hain, un baaton ko taalte hue jo unhein bechain kar deti hain, ya shaanti banaaye rakhne ke liye har kadam phoonk-phoonkkar rakhte hue. Samay ke saath aap do saathiyon ki jagah ek maa-baap aur bacche wale pattern mein phisal sakte hain, aur aap dono aakhir mein isse chidhne lagte hain.
- Aapka saathi bechain mehsoos karta hai aur raahat ki taraf haath badhata hai.
- Aap bharosa dilaate hain, ya darawni cheez uski thaali se hata dete hain.
- Dar ek ghante ke liye halka ho jaata hai, to lagta hai ki yeh kaam kar gaya.
- Chinta agli baar aur badi hokar lautti hai, kyunki usse bachne ne alarm ko sikha diya ki khatra saccha tha.
Chakra ko dekh lena hi usse baahar nikalne ka zyadatar hissa hai. Ise naam dene ka maqsad yeh tay karna nahi ki galti kiski hai. Har kadam agle kadam ko lagbhag apne aap hone wala bana deta hai, aur yahi wajah hai ki yahan acche iraade baar-baar naakaam hote hain. Aapke paas pyaar ki samasya nahi hai. Aapke paas ek pattern ki samasya hai, aur pattern ko badalna charitra ko badalne se kahin aasaan hai.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Dekhiye ki aap dono is chakra mein kahan daakhil hote hain. Unka daakhila dar ki lehar hai; aapka wah pal hai jab aap use shaant karne ya mita dene ke liye daudte hain. Aap unka alarm band nahi kar sakte, par aap is kadi mein apna kadam badal sakte hain, aur akele yahi poori baat ko dheema kar sakta hai. Jab ek insaan apna roz ka hissa nibhaana band kar deta hai, to chakra ki lay toot jaati hai. Yeh unhein chhod dena nahi hai. Yeh apni chaal wapas apne haath mein lena hai.
Agli baar jab aapko chakra shuru hota mehsoos ho, to use dheere se zor se bolkar naam dijiye: "Mujhe lagta hai hum phir se apne chinta wale chakra mein hain." Ise saath milkar kehna, ek ladai ki jagah ek saajha cheez ki tarah jiska saamna karna hai, is jaadu ko usse zyada baar tod deta hai jitna aap sochenge.
Saath hona, theek karne se behtar hai
Jab aapka saathi dar ki lehar se guzar raha ho, tab shaant aur sthir hokar uske saath baithna, uski samasya ko uske liye hal kar dene se zyada madad karta hai. Baar-baar bharosa dilaane se behtar kaam karta hai ek garam bharosa.
Sabse mazboot madad koi chatur jawab ya yeh vaada nahi hai ki kuch bura nahi hoga. Yeh hai saath hona: lehar ke guzarne tak unke saath baithe rehna, shaant aur sthir, use jaldi khatam karne ke liye daude bina guzar jaane dena. Baar-baar bharosa dilaane ki jagah, un par ek garam bharosa aazmaiye. Kuch aisa, "Mujhe pata hai yeh bahut bada lag raha hai, aur mujhe pata hai tum isse nikal sakte ho, main yahin hoon." Aap us insaan ka saath de rahe hain, unke liye dar se lad nahi rahe.
Zyada kathin aur zyada dayaalu kadam yeh hai ki jis cheez se ve bach rahe hain use unke liye karne se dheere-dheere peechhe hatein, aur uski taraf chhote bahadur kadmon mein unka saath dein. Nateeje ko nahi, koshish ko saraahiye. Yeh thandapan nahi hai. Accommodation se peechhe hatna, wah bhi garamjoshi banaaye rakhte hue, khud unhi cheezon mein se ek hai jo ghabrahat ki pakad ko dheela karti hai.
Kuch hi kadam zyadatar wazan uthaate hain. Baar-baar bharosa dilaane ki jagah ek sthir, garam bharosa dijiye. Darawni cheez hata dene ki jagah chhote bahadur kadam mein saath dijiye. Aur sahi madad ko tasveer mein laaiye: baatcheet wali therapy kaam karti hai, aur kuch logon ke liye koi doctor dawa bhi sujha sakte hain, jise har maamle mein alag-alag taula jaata hai. Is samasya ka saamna ek team ki tarah kijiye, aap dono ek taraf aur ghabrahat doosri taraf, kabhi aap dono ek-doosre ke khilaaf nahi.
Yaad rakhiye
Kadam mein saath dijiye, use hata mat dijiye. Har baar jab aap unke liye wah bechain kar dene wala phone karne waale hon, ya wah yojna radd karne waale hon jisse ve darte hain, rukiye aur khud se poochiye ki kya aap unke paas khade reh sakte hain jabki ve khud ek chhota kadam lein. Garamjoshi aur aage ki taraf ek naram dhakka, unke liye kaam kar dene se behtar hai.
Apne saathi ki taali hui koi ek chhoti cheez chuniye, aisi kuch jismein zyada daanv par na ho. Is hafte, use unke liye karne ya chhod dene ki jagah, yeh peshkash kijiye ki aap unke theek saath rahenge jab ve uski taraf ek kadam lein. Phir zor se kahiye ki aapko garv hai ki unhone koshish ki, nateeja chaahe jo bhi ho.
Aapki apni zindagi bhi maayne rakhti hai
Aap khaali pyaale se kisi ko nahi pila sakte. Aapka aaraam, aapki neend, aapke dost, aur rishte ke baahar aapki apni zindagi, ye swaarth nahi hain. Yahi wo cheezein hain jo aapko madad karne layak banaaye rakhti hain.
Aap unke saathi hain, unke therapist nahi, aur unse pyaar karte hue bhi har uljhan ke liye jawab ya taakat na hona bilkul theek hai. Aapka apna aaraam, neend, dost, aur rishte ke baahar ki zindagi koi swaarthi faaltu cheezein nahi hain. Yahi wo cheezein hain jo aapko bilkul bhi madad karne layak banaaye rakhti hain. Jo log ise sabse acche se dhote hain, ve ise chupchaap nahi dhote; ve pehle apni saans ki hifaazat karte hain.
Seemaayein dayaalu hoti hain, thandi nahi. Yeh kehna theek hai ki aap unke saath baithenge par har ek baar apni yojnaayein radd nahi karenge, ya yeh ki aap unhein bechain kar dene wala phone karne mein saath denge par unke liye wah phone karte hi nahi rahenge. Apne andar badhti chidh, thakan, aur udaasi par nazar rakhiye, kyunki ise saalon tak chupchaap dhona, sahaara dene wale par sach mein ek asar chhodta hai.
Kai Bhaartiya gharon mein poora parivar usi ek sthir insaan par tika rehta hai, aur agar wah aap hain, to bojh chupchaap kai guna badh sakta hai. Rishtedaar aapko sambhalne ka kaam thama sakte hain aur phir aank sakte hain ki aap use kaise karte hain. Aapko har baatcheet jeetni zaroori nahi hai. Ek chhoti, sthir baat kaam aati hai: "Hum is par saath milkar kaam kar rahe hain, apne tareeke se." Phir baaki logon ko bojh baantne dijiye, aur bina kisi sharm ke apne liye madad ki taraf haath badhaaiye.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Koi ek insaan dhoondhiye jo aapke saath ho, koi behen, koi dost, koi jo samajhta ho. Mushkil baat ko kisi aise ke saamne zor se kehna jo aapko aankta nahi, aapki chhaati se bojh halka kar deta hai. Chidh chuppi mein badhti hai, aur akelaapan bhi, aur ek baar aap ise poori tarah akele dhona band kar dein, to dono zyada der nahi tikte. Apna khyaal rakhna unke saath koi dhokha nahi hai. Ek aaraam paaya hua, zyada sthir aap, is rishte ke paas sabse acchi cheez hai.
Is hafte, koi ek cheez chuniye jo sirf aapke liye ho, kisi kitaab ke saath aadha ghanta, kisi dost ko phone, phone ke bina ek sair, aur use bina kisi apraadhbodh ya maafi ke lijiye. Dhyaan dijiye ki cheezein bikhar nahi jaatin, aur yeh ki aap jitne dheeraj ke saath gaye the usse thoda zyada dheeraj lekar lautte hain.
Madad paana, aur surakshit rehna
Jab chinta rozmarra ki zindagi par haavi ho jaaye, ya hafton tak khinchti chali aayi ho aur halki na pad rahi ho, tab kisi doctor se miliye. Aap unka poora ilaaj nahi ho sakte, aur kisi peshewar ko ismein shaamil karna sabse pyaar bhare kaamon mein se ek hai.
Kuch thakan har zindagi ka hissa hai. Par kisi doctor se tab miliye jab chinta aapke saathi ka kaam karna, sona, khaana, ya ghar se nikalna rok de, jab yeh rozmarra ki zindagi par haavi ho jaaye, ya jab yeh hafton tak khinchti chali aayi ho aur halki na pad rahi ho. Sahi madad paana haar maan lena nahi hai. Yeh sabse pyaar bhare kaamon mein se ek hai jo aap kar sakte hain, aur yeh kaam karta hai.
Kuch chetavni ke ishaare tez madad maangte hain: ghabrahat ke aise daure jo unhein dara dein, jhelne ke liye zyada sharaab ya koi aur nasha, ya aisi koi baat ki ve yahan nahi rehna chaahte. Agar aapka saathi kabhi apni jaan lene ki baat kare, to use gambheerta se lijiye, unke saath rahiye, aisi har cheez ko aasaani se pahunch se hata dijiye jisse ve khud ko nuksaan pahuncha sakein, aur abhi madad lijiye. Yeh akele sambhalne ka pal nahi hai.
Aapke saath
Agar aapka saathi surakshit nahi hai, ya yeh keh raha hai ki wah yahan nahi rehna chaahta, to aap Tele-MANAS par 14416 par phone kar sakte hain, jo Bharat ki muft rashtriya maansik sehat helpline hai, kai bhaashaon mein din aur raat uplabdh, aapke liye ya unke liye. Neeche diye sankat card mein aur bhi log hain jin tak aap kisi bhi waqt pahunch sakte hain.
Dawa ke baare mein kya? Kuch logon ke liye, jab mushkilein kaafi badi hon, to koi dawa jis par koi doctor vichaar kar sakte hain, ghabrahat ko neeche laane mein madad kar sakti hai, baatcheet wali therapy aur un rozmarra ke kadmon ke saath jo aap dono milkar uthaate hain. Yeh ek faisla hai jo aapka saathi kisi doctor ke saath leta hai, har maamle mein alag-alag taula gaya, kabhi koi apne aap uthne wala kadam nahi aur kabhi poora jawab nahi. Ek accha doctor ise ek badi yojna ke ek hisse ki tarah dekhta hai aur samay ke saath iski dobara jaanch karta hai.
Yaad rakhiye
Aap unka poora ilaaj nahi ho sakte, aur aapse kabhi yeh ummeed thi bhi nahi. Aapki sthirta madad karti hai, par ek peshewar ve hisse uthata hai jo aap nahi utha sakte. Ghabrahat ka saamna ek team ki tarah kijiye, kisi doctor ko shaamil kijiye, aur aisa karte hue apna khyaal rakhte rahiye. Yeh haar maan lena nahi hai. Yahi wah tareeka hai jisse aap dono aur mazboot hote hain.
Wahi saathi jiska man har waqt garam rehta hai, wahi wah insaan bhi ban sakta hai jo us zindagi ke liye poore man se haazir rahe jise aap saath milkar bana rahe hain, ek baar jab aap dar se akele ladna band karke saath milkar uska saamna karna shuru kar dein.
Aaj raat, koi ek chhoti cheez ka naam lijiye jo aapke saathi ne aaj himmat se ki, chaahe wah kitni bhi chhoti ho, aur use zor se unse kahiye. Phir ek cheez likh lijiye jo aap kisi doctor ya therapist se is chinta ke baare mein poochna chaahenge. Use apne phone mein rakhiye. Do chhote kadam, ek ek-doosre ki taraf aur ek madad ki taraf, yahi wah tareeka hai jisse lamba raasta shuru hota hai.
Yeh jaankari kahan se hai
Yeh guide samajhne mein madad karti hai. Yeh nidaan nahin hai. Uske liye doctor se milein.