Saathi ki guide
TraumaSadme se guzre saathi se pyaar karna
Sadme ke asar ke saath jee rahe saathi ke liye ek garmjosh guide: doori ko dil par lena kaise chhodein, is chakra se milkar kaise niklein, aur khud ko bhi kaise sambhaalein.
Jo baar-baar hota hai, use ek naam dena
Agar jise aap pyaar karte hain woh kabhi bahut paas aata hai aur kabhi bahut door chala jaata hai, agar chhoti-si baat par bada reaction aa jaata hai, aur aap har baar chot khaakar aur uljhan mein reh jaate hain, to yeh sab aapke mann ka wehem nahi hai. Kuch sach mein ho raha hai, aur uski ek shakl hai jise aap samajh sakte hain.
Jab kisi insaan ne koi daraane wali ya sambhaalne se baahar ki baat jheli ho, to khatra tal jaane ke baad bhi uska mann aur shareer bahut der tak chaukanna bana reh sakta hai. Jo unke saath hua, yeh usi ki ek jaani-pehchaani pratikriya hai. Yeh na unmein koi kami hai, aur na aap mein.
Aap is pattern ko pehchaan sakte hain. Achaanak gussa ya achaanak chup ho jaana. Neend mein gadbadi. Kisi aawaaz ya chhoone par chaunk jaana. Jab aap paas aana chaahte hain, theek tabhi door hat jaana. Maheenon ki uljhan ke baad, is pattern ko ek naam de dena hi sacchi raahat de sakta hai.
Yeh kitaabcha aapke saathi par koi label nahi lagaayega. Sirf ek doctor hi keh sakta hai ki kisi ke saath kya ho raha hai aur use kya kehte hain. Yahan hum bas itna kar sakte hain ki aapko iski shakl dikha dein, taaki aap andaaze lagaana chhodkar sahi jawaab dena shuru kar sakein.
Agar ismein se bahut kuch jaana-pehchaana lagta hai, to aap akele nahi hain, aur aap samasya nahi hain. Sadme ki pratikriya poore ghar par asar daalti hai, aur jo insaan sabse zyada pyaar karta hai, aksar wahi ise sabse pehle mehsoos karta hai aur chupchaap uthaata hai.
Do din tak, bas dhyaan deejiye, usi pal ise uthaaye bina. Nazdeeki kab aasaan lagti hai? Aur kab woh doori ya kisi teekhe reaction mein badal jaati hai? Aap abhi kuch theek nahi kar rahe. Aap bas apne hi chakra ki shakl seekh rahe hain.
Chot hai, insaan nahi
Sadme ki pratikriya darasal dimaag ka wahi kaam hai jo usne ek sacche khatre se bachne ke liye seekha tha: chaukanna raho, yaad dilaane wali cheezon se bacho, agli chot ke liye taiyaar raho. Sunn pad jaana aur doori usi chot ki nishaniyan hain, is baare mein koi paighaam nahi ki ve aapse kitna pyaar karte hain.
Ab woh baat jo, jab aap dono ise maan lete hain, sab kuch badal deti hai. Sadme ki pratikriya darasal dimaag ka wahi kaam hai jo usne kabhi surakshit rehne ke liye kiya tha: chaukanna raho, yaad dilaane wali cheezon se bacho, agli chot ke liye khud ko kas lo. Woh taar jaise "chaalu" ki haalat mein atak gaya hai. Yeh chot hai, insaan nahi.
Woh sunnpan, woh doori, chhoone ya baat karne se peechhe hat jaana, ye sab nishaniyan hain. Ye aapki shaadi par koi faisla nahi, aur na hi unke pyaar ka koi paimaana. Asal mein, sadme ke baad nazdeeki ki mushkilon se sabse zyada jo do cheezein judi hain, ve hain sunn pad jaana aur cheezon se bachna, yaani pratikriya ke wahi hisse jo insaan ko andar ki or kheench lete hain. Jab ve sapaat ya door ho jaate hain, to aksar woh pratikriya bol rahi hoti hai, na ki ve poore ke poore insaan.
Jis din main samjhi ki woh doori chot ki aawaaz thi, uska mujhe chhod jaana nahi, usi din se maine har chup shaam ko is saboot ki tarah lena band kar diya ki usne parwaah karni chhod di hai.
Ek saathi, 34 saal
Ve aapko chot pahunchaana nahi chun rahe, aur aapne kuch galat karke ise paida nahi kiya. Yeh ghaav aapse pehle ka hai, ya aap dono ke baahar ki kisi baat se aaya hai. Ise yun naam dena har baat ko chhoot dena nahi hai. Iska matlab hai ki aap apni taaqat us pratikriya par lagaayein, jo badal sakti hai, na ki ek aise insaan par jise aap dosh dena shuru kar chuke hain.
Yaad rakhiye
Jab woh sapaatpan aise padha jaaye ki "ab woh mujhse pyaar nahi karta", to har chup shaam ek ghaav jaisi lagti hai. Aur jab woh aise padha jaaye ki "uska mann ab bhi khatre ke liye kasa hua hai", to aap uske saath khade hokar uska saamna kar sakte hain. Wahi shaam, par raat bahut alag.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Sadme ko insaan se alag karne ka matlab yeh nahi ki aap par padne wala bojh saccha nahi hai. Woh saccha hai, woh bhaari hai, aur aapko yeh kehne ka haq hai. Iska matlab hai ki aap ek aise kirdaar se ladna band kar dete hain jise mushkil palon mein aapne khud gadhna shuru kar diya tha, aur ek aisi pratikriya par kaam karne lagte hain jiska saamna aap ek team ki tarah sach mein kar sakte hain. "Tumhaara mann ab bhi kasa hua hai, aur main is tarah baahar reh jaane se thak gayi hoon, to chalo milkar madad dhoondhte hain," yeh aisa vaakya hai jiske saath aap dono khade ho sakte hain. "Tum ab mujhse pyaar nahi karte," yeh nahi hai.
Woh loop jismein aap baar-baar aa phanste hain
Zyadatar jode usi ek loop mein phisal jaate hain: koi cheez unhe beete hue ki yaad dila deti hai, unka shareer aise react karta hai jaise khatra abhi yahin ho, ve peechhe hat jaate hain ya bhadak jaate hain, aur aap chot khaakar reh jaate hain, to aap ya to aur zor lagaate hain ya chup ho jaate hain. Phir yeh dobaara shuru ho jaata hai.
Yeh loop aam taur par chupchaap banta hai. Koi cheez, ek aawaaz, ek taareekh, ek oonchi aawaaz, unhe beete hue ki yaad dila deti hai. Unka shareer aise react karta hai jaise khatra abhi, yahin hai. Ve peechhe hat jaate hain ya bhadak uthte hain. Aap chot khaakar aur uljhan mein reh jaate hain, to aap ya to un tak pahunchne ke liye aur zor lagaate hain ya shaanti banaaye rakhne ke liye chup ho jaate hain. Aur phir koi cheez unhe dobaara yaad dila deti hai. Yahi hai woh "yaad dilaana aur peechhe hatna" wala loop, aur ise aap mein se kisi ne nahi chuna.
Chunki yaad dilaane wali cheezon se bachna us pratikriya ka hissa hai, isliye ve shaayad unhi baaton, jagahon, ya nazdeeki se katraate hain jo asal mein madad kar sakti thi. Waqt ke saath yeh bachna chupchaap poore rishte ko chhota karta jaata hai, jab tak ki aap dono ki saajha duniya, bina kisi ke tay kiye, simat na jaaye.
Aapne koi maamooli-si baat kahi, ya darwaaze ki ghanti baji, ya TV par koi drishya aa gaya, aur ek pal mein aapke paas baitha insaan kahin aur pahunch gaya. Unka jabda kas gaya, unki nazar door kahin chali gayi, aur jo garmaahat abhi-abhi thi woh gaayab ho gayi. Aapne haath badhaaya aur ve chaunk gaye, ya thande pad gaye, ya kamre se chale gaye. Aap wahin khade reh jaate hain, chot khaaye aur hairaan, yeh sochte hue ki aapne kya kar diya. Sabse mumkin baat yeh hai ki aapne kuch nahi kiya. Bas ek yaad dilaane wali cheez aayi, aur unke shareer ne wahi kiya jo usne bahut pehle seekha tha.
Ho sakta hai aap khud ko ande ke chhilkon par chalte hue paayein, unke mood sambhaalte hue, ya shaanti banaaye rakhne ke liye aur-aur karte hue. Yeh thaka dene wala hai, aur yeh is baat ki nishani hai ki sadma rishte ko chala raha hai, na ki yeh ki aap mein se koi naakaam ho raha hai.
- Koi yaad dilaane wali cheez beete hue ko kamre mein le aati hai.
- Unka shareer aise react karta hai jaise khatra abhi ho raha ho.
- Ve bina chune peechhe hat jaate hain ya bhadak uthte hain.
- Aap chot khaakar reh jaate hain, aur aur zor lagaate hain ya chup ho jaate hain, jab tak yeh phir se shuru na ho jaaye.
Is loop ko dekh lena hi isse nikalne ka zyadatar raasta hai. Ise naam dene ka maqsad yeh tay karna nahi hai ki kiski galti hai. Har kadam agle kadam ko lagbhag apne-aap bana deta hai, aur yahi wajah hai ki usi pal mein zyada koshish karna baar-baar naakaam hota rehta hai. Aapke paas pyaar ki samasya nahi hai. Aapke paas ek pattern ki samasya hai, aur ek pattern ko badalna ek insaan ko badalne se kahin aasaan hai.
Agli baar jab aapko lage ki loop shuru ho raha hai, to narmi se, khulkar use naam deejiye: "Mujhe lagta hai wahi puraana alarm abhi baj gaya." Ise saath milkar kehna, ek aisi saajha cheez ki tarah jisse baahar nikalna hai, na ki ek-doosre ke beech ka jhagda, is jakdan ko usse kahin zyada baar todta hai jitna aap sochte hain.
Theek karne se bada hai saath bane rehna
Shaant rehkar paas bane rehna, bina yeh maange ki ve samjhaayein ya khush ho jaayein, unke tantrika tantra ko bataata hai ki yahan surakshit hai. Kisi ko bahas karke uski pratikriya se baahar kheenchne ki koshish aksar use aur tez kar deti hai. Iska saamna saath milkar, ek doctor ki madad se karna, aap dono ki madad karta hai.
Theek karne se zyada madad saath bane rehna karta hai. Shaant rehkar paas bane rehna, bina yeh maange ki ve khud ko samjhaayein ya khush ho jaayein, unke tantrika tantra ko bataata hai ki yahan surakshit hai. Kisi ko bahas karke sadme ki pratikriya se baahar kheenchne ki koshish lagbhag hamesha use aur tez kar deti hai, kamzor nahi. Aapko us pal ko theek nahi karna hai. Aapko bas uske bheetar ek surakshit jagah banna hai.
Jab koi cheez trigger ho, to seedhi-saadhi zameen se jodne wali baatein madad karti hain. Ek tiki hui aawaaz. Saaf-saaf yeh bataana ki ve yahan aur abhi surakshit hain. Kamre se gaye bina unhe thodi jagah dena. Jo ek insaan ko shaant karta hai woh doosre ko bechain kar sakta hai, isliye kisi shaant ghadi mein pehle se poochh leejiye ki jab alarm bajta hai to asal mein unki kya madad karti hai.
Iska saamna ek jode ki tarah karna sach mein kaam karta hai. Jab saathi is pratikriya ke baare mein saath milkar seekhte hain aur ilaaj mein saath dete hain, to nishaniyan aur nazdeeki dono behtar hoti jaati hain. Ek baatcheet wala ilaaj jab jode ke roop mein kiya jaaye, yaani jisne sadma jhela woh aur uska saathi saath mein, to woh nishaniyan ghataata aur rishte mein jode ka santosh badhaata dekha gaya hai. Aap unki sehat lautne mein sirf ek darshak nahi hain. Aap uska ek hissa ban sakte hain.
Nazdeeki ko dobaara bunna kisi ek badi baatcheet mein nahi hota. Yeh chhote, saajha kadmon mein hota hai, jo aam dinon par baar-baar dohraaye jaayein. Ek shaant sair jahan kuch hal karna zaroori na ho. "Mujhe ek minute chahiye" ke liye koi ishaara jis par aap dono raazi hon. Bina shabdon ke ek-doosre ke paas baithna. Ek haath jo badhaaya jaaye, maanga na jaaye. Inmein se kuch bhi naatakiya nahi lagta. Par yeh sab, baar-baar dohraaya jaaye, to ek kase hue tantrika tantra ko bataata hai ki yeh insaan, yeh ghar, surakshit hai.
Kya ulta padta hai, ise bhi naam dena zaroori hai. Un par "bas aage badh jaao" ka dabaav daalna. Shaanti banaaye rakhne ke liye is vishay se hamesha ke liye katraana, taaki woh chupchaap poore ghar ko chalaata rahe. Ya sab kuch chupchaap khud uthaate rehna jab tak ki aap khaali na ho jaayein. Chhote, saajha kadam ek bade ilaaj ko har baar maat dete hain.
Aapke saath
Aap kabhi-kabhi ismein galti karenge. Aap tab zor laga baithenge jab aap rukna chaahte the, ya tab chup ho jaayenge jab aap saath rehna chaahte the. Yeh naakaami nahi hai. Marammat, yaani lautkar aana aur phir se koshish karna, har pal ko theek-theek nibhaane se zyada maayne rakhti hai.
Kisi shaant din, ek sawaal poochhiye: "Jab tumhe woh door-door wala ehsaas hota hai, to kya madad karta hai, aur kya aur bura kar deta hai?" Jawaab ko saath milkar likh leejiye. Agle mushkil pal se pehle yojna taiyaar rakhna, us pal ki kisi bhi behtareen pratikriya se zyada keemti hai.
Khaali pyaale se aap kuch nahi de sakte
Kisi ko sadme se guzaarte hue pyaar karna aap par bhi apna nishaan chhod sakta hai. Aapki thakaan aur udaasi jaayaz hai, swaarth nahi. Aap unke saathi hain, unke therapist nahi, aur apna khayaal rakhna hi aapko ek saathi banaaye rakhta hai.
Kisi ko sadme se guzaarte hue pyaar karna aap par bhi apna nishaan chhod sakta hai. Sadma jhelne walon ke saathi aur parivaar apna ek saccha khinchaav utha sakte hain, ek tarah ka doosre darje ka tanaav jo maheenon mein chupchaap jama hota jaata hai. Aapki thakaan, aapki udaasi, aapke apne dar ke pal, ye sab jaayaz hain. Ye na swaarth hain, aur na is baat ki nishani ki aap unse zara bhi kam pyaar karte hain.
Ab ek aisi baat jo aap dono ki hifaazat karti hai. Aap unke saathi hain, unke therapist nahi. Aap unke ilaaj mein saath de sakte hain, par aap khud unka ilaaj nahi ban sakte. Ilaaj ka kaam kisi maahir ke haath mein saunpna unse peechhe hatna nahi hai. Yeh aapke rishte ki hifaazat karta hai aur unhe woh sacchi madad deta hai jiske liye aapko kabhi sikhaaya hi nahi gaya.
Apni hawa khud banaaye rakhiye. Aapki neend. Aapke dost. Zaroorat ho to aapka apna doctor. Aapki zindagi ke ve hisse jo bas aapke apne hain. Khaali pyaale se aap kuch nahi de sakte, aur yeh ek lamba raasta hai, koi chhoti daud nahi. Bhare-poore parivaar mein, jahan rishtedaar salaah ya ilzaamon ka dher laga sakte hain, wahan apni zindagi ka ek kona aisa rakhiye jo sirf aapka ho.
Yaad rakhiye
Hadein koi dhoka nahi hain. Daant sunne se inkaar karna, akele poora ilaaj ban jaane se inkaar karna, apna poora wajood chhod dene se inkaar karna, yeh us rishte ka hissa hai jo sach mein tik sakta hai. Ek zyada tika hua aap hi woh sabse achhi cheez hai jo aap ghar laate hain.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Koi ek insaan dhoondhiye jo aapke saath ho, ek bhai ya behen, ek dost, koi jo judge na kare. Jo mushkil hai use kisi surakshit insaan se khulkar keh dena aapke seene se bojh utaarta hai, aur naraazgi chuppi mein sabse tez badhti hai. Aapko ek aisi zindagi chaahne ka haq hai jo kisi aur ke dard ko sambhaalne se badhkar ho. Apna khayaal rakhna unke saath dhoka nahi hai. Ek aaraam paaya, zyada tika hua aap, bilkul wahi hai jiski ek lambi sehatyaabi ko apne saath zaroorat hai.
Is hafte, ek aisi cheez leejiye jo sirf aapke liye ho, aadha ghanta kitaab ke saath, kisi dost ko ek call, phone chhodkar ek sair, aur use bina kisi apraadhbodh ke leejiye. Dhyaan deejiye ki ghar bikhar nahi jaata, aur yeh ki aap thoda aur sabr lekar lautte hain jitna chhodkar gaye the.
Kab madad ke liye haath badhaana hai
Kuch nishaniyan kehti hain ki abhi haath badhaao. Unhe ek doctor tak pahunchaana hi sabse madadgaar kadam hai. Agar suraksha ko lekar kabhi zara bhi shak ho, aap dono mein se kisi ki bhi, to ek muft helpline hai jis par aap kisi bhi waqt phone kar sakte hain.
Kuch nishaniyan kehti hain ki abhi madad ke liye haath badhaao, baad mein nahi. Jeene ki ichha na hone ki baat. Apni cheezein de dena. Gehri maayoosi ke baad achaanak aa gayi shaanti. Sambhaalne ke liye had se zyada sharaab ya nashe ka sahaara. Ya suraksha ko koi bhi khatra, unki ho ya aapki. Agar aap ye dekhein, to inhe gambheerta se leejiye aur kadam uthaaiye.
Agar aapka saathi shaayad surakshit na ho, ya aap dare hue hon, to aapko ise akele nahi uthaana hai. Tele-MANAS ko 14416 par phone keejiye. Yeh muft hai, din ho ya raat kisi bhi waqt uplabdh hai, aur kayi bhaartiya bhashaon mein milti hai. Agar khatra fauri ho, to seedhe apni local emergency sevaon se sampark keejiye.
Yaad rakhiye
Unhe ek doctor tak pahunchaana hi sabse madadgaar kadam hai jo aap utha sakte hain. Sadme ki pratikriyaon ke kaargar ilaaj maujood hain, aur ek doctor bata sakta hai ki kya theek baithta hai, jismein ek baatcheet wali therapy aur kabhi-kabhi dekhbhaal ke ek hisse ke taur par dawa shaamil ho sakti hai.
Us insaan ko maahir dekhbhaal tak pahunchaana hi woh chaabi hai jo baaki sab kuch mod deti hai. Aapne bahut kuch, bahut der tak, tikkar uthaaya hai. Ilaaj ka hissa us kisi ke haath mein saunpna jo iske liye sikhaaya gaya hai, un par haar maan lena nahi hai. Yeh unke saath khade rehne ka sabse mazboot tareeka hai.
Aur agar kabhi hinsa ho, ya aap sach mein khud ko asurakshit mehsoos karein, to aapki suraksha pehle, baat khatm. Us pal mein madad ke liye haath badhaana unhe chhod dena nahi hai. Yeh aap dono ki hifaazat karne ka sabse bahaadur tareeka hai.
Wahi insaan jiska mann ab bhi ek puraane khatre ke liye kasa hua hai, waqt aur sahi madad ke saath, aapke paas phir se surakshit mehsoos kar sakta hai. Yeh bojh na aapko akele uthaana hai, aur na unhe.
Aaj raat, do chhoti cheezein keejiye. Aaj ka ek pal yaad keejiye jab aapne nazdeeki mehsoos ki, chaahe kitni hi chhoti ho, aur use thaame rakhiye. Phir ek baat likh leejiye jo aap ek doctor se poochhna chaahenge, aur use apne phone mein rakhiye. Do chhote kadam, ek ek-doosre ki or aur ek madad ki or, isi tarah lamba raasta shuru hota hai.
Yeh jaankari kahan se hai
Yeh guide samajhne mein madad karti hai. Yeh nidaan nahin hai. Uske liye doctor se milein.