Stigma and Society
How we see mental illnessEk aisa samaj jo jagah banata hai
A warm, plain guide for neighbours and community or faith leaders: why meeting a real person melts fear faster than any lecture, and the small acts of welcome that make room.
Woh chot jo hospital ke bahar lagti hai
Jab mohalle mein kisi ko mental illness hoti hai, to hum baaki log uske saath jaisa behave karte hain, woh kabhi-kabhi bimari se bhi zyada gehri chot pahuchata hai. Kisi insaan ko hamare beech ek aam zindagi milegi ya nahi, ye sirf is baat par tay nahi hota ki doctor kya karta hai, balki is par bhi ki samaj kaisa behave karta hai.
Hum aksar sochte hain ki mental illness hospital aur doctor ki baat hai, koi aisi cheez jo band darwazon ke peeche hoti hai. Par jo cheez iske saath jeena mushkil banati hai, uska bahut bada hissa yahi, hamari apni gali mein hota hai. Kisi ka naam aate hi aawaz ka dheema pad jana. Woh daawat jo poore parivaar ko bulana band kar deti hai. Bete ko us ghar mein rishta na dene ka chupchaap liya gaya faisla. Inmein se kuch bhi dawa nahi hai. Ye sab hum hain.
Jin studies ne ise gaur se dekha hai, woh batati hain ki padosiyon, doston aur bade samaj ka rozmarra ka ye faisla kisi insaan ko utna, kabhi-kabhi usse bhi zyada dukh de sakta hai, jitna khud woh bimari. Gali mein faila kalank ek zindagi ko utni hi pakki tarah gadh deta hai jitna clinic mein hone wali koi bhi cheez.
Ye chhoti-si kitaab us aam padosi ke liye hai, aur us dharmik ya samaj ke mukhiya ke liye, jo madad karna chahta hai par samajh nahi pata kaise. Aapko expert hone ki zaroorat nahi. Aapko bas thodi-si jagah banane ke liye taiyaar hona hai.
Apni gali ke us parivaar ko yaad kijiye jiske baare mein log fusfusane lage hain. Wahan koi theek nahi raha. Aana-jana kam ho gaya hai. Daawatein ruk gayi hain. Jab woh guzarte hain, to nazrein jhuk jaati hain aur aawazein dheemi pad jaati hain. Kisi ne khulkar bura nahi kiya, phir bhi ek deewar khadi ho gayi hai, chupchaap ek-ek eent rakhkar, jo sirf nazarandazi se bani hai.
Woh deewar hi kalank hai, aur woh sach mein nuksaan karti hai. Par woh aisi cheez bhi hai jise humein se koi bhi giraana shuru kar sakta hai, kisi bade kaam se nahi balki ek aam kaam se: ek pal zyada rukkar kiya gaya abhivaadan, aage badhayi gayi ek chai ki pyaali, aise kamre mein jahan baaki log chup ho gaye hon, wahan kisi ka naam garamjoshi se liya jana.
Apne ilaake ke kisi ek insaan ya parivaar ko man mein laaiye jise log door rakhne lage hain. Is hafte ek chhoti, aam bhalai kijiye, ek namaste, ek chai ki pyaali, ek aam baatcheet ka pal. Kuch theek karne ke liye nahi. Bas unhein gali ka hissa banaye rakhne ke liye.
Mental illness kya hai, aur kya nahi
Mental illness ek sehat ki samasya hai, koi kamzori, shraap ya saza nahi. Ye kisi ke bure swabhav se nahi hoti, aur isse koi insaan khatarnaak ya pahunch se bahar nahi ho jaata. Iske baare mein hum jin cheezon se darte hain, unmein se zyadatar sach hi nahi hain.
Hamare dar ka bahut saara hissa un purani baaton se aata hai jo kabhi sahi thi hi nahi. Ki mental illness kamzor ichchhashakti ki nishani hai. Ki ye kisi paap ya parivaar ke kisi galat kaam ki wajah se hoti hai. Ki aisa insaan kabhi kaam nahi kar sakta, kabhi shaadi nahi kar sakta, us par kabhi bharosa nahi kiya ja sakta, aur use alag rakhna hi theek hai. Ye baatein aam hain, aur ye galat hain.
Mental illness aur kai bimariyon jaisi hi ek sehat ki samasya hai, jo kuch samay ke liye asar daalti hai ki insaan kaise sochta, mehsoos karta ya haalaat se joojhta hai. Iski asli wajhein hain aur asli madad hai. Iske saath jee raha insaan ab bhi ek poora insaan hai: ek beti, ek sehakarmi, ek dost, ek padosi jo wahi bus pakadta hai aur unhi billon ki chinta karta hai. Bimari zindagi ka ek hissa hai, kabhi poori zindagi nahi.
Ye kamzori nahi hai.
Mental illness ek sehat ki samasya hai, swabhav ya ichchhashakti ki naakami nahi. Ise koi nahi chunta, jaise koi sugar ki bimari nahi chunta.
Ye shraap nahi hai.
Ye kisi paap ki saza nahi hai, na hi parivaar ne khud apne oopar laayi koi museebat. Iski asli wajhein hain aur asli ilaaj hai.
Iska matlab khatra nahi hai.
Mental illness wale zyadatar logon ko kisi ko chot pahuchane se kahin zyada khud chot lagne ka khatra rehta hai. Yahan darna bewajah hai.
Ye ant nahi hai.
Log theek hote hain. Sahara milne par woh kaam karte hain, padhte hain, shaadi karte hain aur parivaar paalte hain. Theek hona hi aam baat hai, apvaad nahi.
Kisi bimari ka naam batana doctor ka kaam hai, padosi ka nahi, aur ye kitaab kabhi kisi par koi thappa nahi lagayegi. Baat isse bhi seedhi hai. Jab hum purane daron ko hatakar saada sach apna lete hain, to saamne khada insaan bachne laayak koi museebat jaisa lagna band kar deta hai aur aisa koi dikhne lagta hai jiske saath hum khade ho sakte hain.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Aapko bimariyon ki koi list yaad karne ya aadha doctor banne ki zaroorat nahi. Ek samaj ke seekhne laayak sabse kaam ki cheez har bimari ka naam nahi, balki man ki ek aadat hai: jab koi jooojh raha ho, to ek asli sehat ki wajah aur ek asli insaan maan lijiye, na ki koi naitik kami. Yahi ek badlaav poori gali ka behave badal deta hai.
Agli baar jab aap kisi ko kisi ki mental illness ko kamzori, naatak ya shraap batate sunein, to aapko behes ya bhashan dene ki zaroorat nahi. Bas ek shaant, insaani baat keh dijiye: "Maine suna woh theek nahi rahe. Ye sehat ki baat hai, aur unhein madad mil rahi hai." Pyaar se kahi gayi ye baat kamre ka mahaul chupchaap badal deti hai.
Asli log, asli sudhaar
Mental illness ko hum kaise dekhte hain, ise badalne wali sabse taqatwar cheez hai aise kisi asli insaan se milna jisne ise jhela hai. Unhein aamne-saamne jaan lena, dar ko pighlaane mein kisi bhi bhashan ya parche se zyada kaam karta hai.
Ab woh hissa jo sabse zyada maayne rakhta hai, aur ye ummeed jagane wala hai. Sudhaar sach mein hota hai. Kai lambe studies mein, jinhone logon ko saalon tak dekha, gambheer mental illness wale logon mein se bhi ek achchhi-khaasi sankhya samay ke saath itna theek ho gayi ki woh kaam kar sakein, doosron se jud sakein, aur ek aam zindagi dobara bana sakein. Samaj ka sahi jawab kisi ko chhod dena nahi, balki unke lautne ka intezaar karna hai.
Aur ek seedhi-si cheez hai jo hamare dar ko kisi bhi aur cheez se tez badal deti hai. Jab aam log kisi aise insaan se, jisne mental illness ke saath jiya hai, aamne-saamne mil lete hain aur use ek asli insaan ki tarah jaan lete hain, file ki tarah nahi, to unka dar aur poorvagrah kam ho jaata hai. Ye aamne-saamne ki jaan-pehchaan akele kisi bhi bhashan ya parche se behtar kaam karti hai. Ek asli insaan ko jaan lena sau achchhi daleelon se zyada man badal deta hai.
Main pehle sadak paar kar jaata tha. Phir nal par hamari baat hone lagi, hafte-dar-hafte, aur ek din mujhe ehsaas hua ki main kisi bimari se nahi, ek dost se baat kar raha hoon.
Ek padosi, baad mein
Isiliye un logon ki kahaaniyan itni maayne rakhti hain jo isse ubarkar aaye, aur isiliye apnapan koi khairaat nahi balki marammat hai. Har baar jab koi insaan jo bimar raha ho, aam zindagi mein wapas bulaya jaata hai, roz ki chai, saajha tyohaar, dukaan par chhoti-moti baatcheet, to do cheezein ek saath theek hoti hain: unka apnepan ka ehsaas, aur unke prati gali ka dar.
Yaad rakhein
Kisi samaj ko na darna sabse achchhe wahi log sikhaate hain jinhone khud mental illness jheli hai. Sudhaar aam baat hai, aur jo insaan isse ubarkar aaya hai woh doosron ke liye koi chetaavni nahi hai. Woh is baat ka saboot hai ki haalaat theek hote hain.
Agar aap kisi aise insaan ko jaante hain jisne mental illness ke saath jiya aur usse ubar gaya, aur woh taiyaar ho, to uski aam maujoodgi ke liye thodi jagah banaiye, chai ki dukaan par, sabha mein, kisi utsav mein. Aap unse unki kahaani sunane ke liye nahi keh rahe. Bas gali ko ek asli insaan ko ek asli zindagi jeete dekhne de rahe hain.
Ek padosi kya kar sakta hai
Aapko training ya sahi shabdon ki zaroorat nahi. Chhote, lagataar, aam kaam, ek abhivaadan, ek na chhootne wala nyota, ek na kahi gayi chugli, kisi bhi ek bade kaam se zyada bhala karte hain. Apnapan chhoti-chhoti cheezon se banta hai.
Achchhi baat ye hai ki madad karne mein expertise nahi lagti. Ismein aam bhalmanahat lagti hai, lagataar di jaaye to. Mohalle ko jo cheezein sabse zyada theek karti hain woh chhoti hain: kisi ko nyote ki list mein banaye rakhna, hamesha ki tarah namaste kehna, kisi chugli ko aage badhane ke bajay apne haath mein hi mar jaane dena.
Iske maayne rakhne ki ek asli wajah bhalai se bhi pare hai. Logon ke madad na maangne ki ek badi wajah ye dar hai ki log kya kahenge. Jo gali logon ko chupchaap apna leti hai, unke baare mein baatein banane ke bajay, woh sach mein kisi ke liye jaldi doctor tak pahuchna aasaan bana deti hai. Aapka aam apnapan woh cheez ho sakti hai jo kisi ko samay rehte ilaaj tak pahucha de.
- Unhein waise hi namaste kijiye jaise hamesha karte the. Bimari ko apni namaste badalne mat dijiye.
- Unhein list mein banaye rakhiye. Shaadiyon mein, tyoharon mein, chhoti sabhaon mein, phir bhi bulaiye.
- Chugli ko apne par aakar rukne dijiye. Fusfusaahat ko aage mat le jaaiye.
- Aage badhaiye, tohiye mat. Ek chai ki pyaali aur ek aam baatcheet sau sawaalon se behtar hai.
Ismein se kuch bhi aapse counsellor banne ko nahi kehta. Agar koi bataye ki woh jooojh raha hai, to aapko koi hoshiyaari bhari salaah nahi deni. Aap suniye, garamjoshi banaye rakhiye, aur agar baat gambheer lage, to dheere se madad ki or ishaara kijiye: ek doctor, ek bharosemand clinic, ya ek helpline. Ek tikaau maujoodgi bane rehna hi kaafi hai. Baaki kaam peshevaron ka hai.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Ye jaanna utna hi kaam aata hai ki kya nahi karna hai, jitna ki kya karna hai. Kisi bimari ka naam mat bataiye ya ye mat kahiye ki unhein "kya hua hai", woh doctor ka kaam hai. Unhein ye mat kahiye ki jhatke mein theek ho jaao ya apni achchhi baatein gino. Unhein naazuk ya koi project mat samajhiye. Bas unhein aam banaye rakhiye: wahi namaste, sabha mein wahi jagah, aapki gali mein wahi thikana. Aam bana rehna hi sabse bada tohfa hai.
Oopar diye chaar kaamon mein se ek chuniye aur is hafte kijiye. Kisi ek insaan ko nyote ki list mein banaye rakhiye. Ek chugli ko apne par aakar rok dijiye. Ek garamjoshi bhari namaste kahiye jise aap shayad chhod dete. Ek chhota kaam, sach mein kiya gaya, sau achchhe iraadon se zyada keemti hai.
Ek dharmik ya samaj ka mukhiya kya kar sakta hai
Log apne dharmik aur samaj ke mukhiyaon par gehra bharosa karte hain. Jo mukhiya kisi jooojhte parivaar ke saath khade hone ka, aur unhein dosh dene ke bajay madad ki or ishaara karne ka chunaav karta hai, woh kisi ki sehat lautne ke sabse taqatwar saathiyon mein se ek ban jaata hai.
Hamare kai samajon mein, pujari, imaam, paadri, buzurg, sanstha ka mukhiya, itne bharose ka bhaar uthate hain jiski baraabari koi doctor aur koi parcha nahi kar sakta. Aisa koi mukhiya mental illness ke baare mein jo kehta hai, woh door tak jaata hai aur gehre baith jaata hai. Ye ek badi zimmedaari hai, aur madad karne ka ek bada mauka bhi.
Jab dharmik aur samaj ke mukhiya mental sehat ke karyakartaon ke saath milkar kaam karte hain, dosh dene ke bajay sahara, hausla aur ilaaj ki or ek dheema dhakka dete hain, to isse kalank kam hota hai, samajh failti hai, aur log us madad tak pahuchte hain jiski unhein zaroorat hai. Kisi jooojhte parivaar ko ek mukhiya jo sabse taqatwar cheez de sakta hai, woh ye samjhana nahi ki aisa kyon hua, balki ye tikaau sandesh hai ki woh ab bhi apne hain, ab bhi keemti hain, aur akele nahi hain.
Ek saathi, ilaaj nahi
Aastha kisi mushkil samay mein sukoon aur apnepan ka ek gehra sota ho sakti hai, aur woh sukoon asli hai aur uski qadar honi chahiye. Uske saath-saath, doctor ki or ek dheema ishaara aastha ki kami nahi hai. Ye dekhbhaal aur aastha ka haath mein haath daalkar chalna hai. Ek bharosemand mukhiya jo sabse pyaara sandesh de sakta hai woh ye hai: agar prarthana se aapko raahat milti hai to karte rahiye, aur aaiye hum aapko kisi aise tak bhi pahucha dein jo iska ilaaj kar sake.
Ek taqatwar saathi banne ke liye kisi mukhiya ko chikitsa ka gyaan hone ki zaroorat nahi. Use bas sabke saamne woh apnapan khud karke dikhana hai jo woh poore samaj se chahta hai: parivaar ko garamjoshi se namaste karna, mental illness ko seedhe-seedhe ek sehat ki baat kehna, shraap nahi, aur doctor ki madad maangne ko aam banana.
Aur jaanna chahein to
Ek bharosemand mukhiya ke chhote kaam bhi bahut bhaari padte hain. Jis parivaar se baaki log bachte rahe, uske liye apnepan ka ek shabd. Ek dheemi yaad ki kisi jooojhte insaan ko dosh dena woh nahi jo hamari aastha humse maangti hai. Jo bimar raha ho, uske saath khulkar dikhti ek dosti. Jab koi parivaar raah bhatak jaaye, to clinic ya helpline ki or ek dheema ishaara. Ismein se kisi mein expertise nahi lagti, aur ye sab poore samaj ko aur meherbaan hone ki ijaazat dete hain.
Agar log aapki or dekhte hain, to is hafte sabke saamne seedhe-seedhe kehne ke liye ek sandesh chuniye: ki mental illness ek sehat ki baat hai, ki doctor ke paas jana samajhdaari hai aur ismein koi burai nahi, aur ki ek jooojhta parivaar ab bhi hamare beech ka hai. Ise ek baar, garamjoshi se, wahan kahiye jahan baaki log sun sakein. Phir unhein ise aapko jeete hue dekhne dijiye.
Ek aisa samaj banana jo jagah banata hai
Jagah banana koi ek din ka aayojan nahi hai. Logon se milne aur unhein shaamil karne se aayi garamjoshi agar baar-baar taaza na ki jaaye to feeki pad jaati hai, isliye ek samaj apni meherbaani ko kisi ek tyohaar ya bhashan se nahi, balki baar-baar sampark mein bane rehkar zinda rakhta hai.
Agar ek baat thaame rakhni ho, to woh ye hai: apnapan ek aadat banni chahiye, ek pal nahi. Studies is baare mein imaandaar hain. Logon se milne aur unhein shaamil karne se jo bhala hota hai, woh kam samay mein sabse saaf dikhta hai aur agar use banaye na rakha jaaye to feeka pad jaata hai. Ek samaj garam kisi ek bade tyohaar ya ek bhaavuk bhashan se nahi, balki aam sampark mein baar-baar bane rehkar rehta hai. Apnapan koi din nahi jise hum manate hain. Ye ek aadat hai jise hum nibhaate hain.
To jagah banane ka kaam chupchaap aur lagataar chalta hai. Ye woh namaste hai jo agle mahine aur uske baad wale mahine bhi dohraayi jaati hai. Woh parivaar jo agle saal bhi nyote ki list mein rehta hai. Woh chugli jise har baar uthne par mar jaane diya jaata hai. Kisi insaan ko insaan ki tarah hi maante rehne ka woh tikaau, aam-sa chunaav, shuruaati josh ke feeka pad jaane ke bahut baad tak.
Humein se koi poore samaj ko naya nahi bana sakta. Par humein se har koi ek gali, ek sabha, ek gurudwara ya church ya masjid ya mandir ke aangan ko gadhta hai. Aur ek aisa samaj jo jagah banata hai, theek wahi banta hai, aam logon ke chhote aur baar-baar dohraaye gaye chunaavon mein jinhone tay kiya ki unke beech jooojhta insaan ab bhi unka apna hai.
Jo gali mahine-dar-mahine apna darwaza khula rakhti hai, woh chupchaap kisi jooojhte insaan ke liye sabse surakshit jagah ban jaati hai.
Apnepan ka ek aisa kaam chuniye jise aap nibhaate reh sakein, sirf ek baar karke nahi. Mahine mein ek chai ki pyaali. Ek hamesha khula nyota. Khud se ek vaada ki chugli aap par aakar ruk jaayegi. Ise kahin aisi jagah rakhiye jahan aapko yaad rahe. Ek aisa samaj jo jagah banata hai, bas aise kai log hain jo aise chhote vaade baar-baar nibhaate rehte hain.
Yeh jaankari kahan se hai
Aur padhne ke liye
Yeh guide samajhne mein madad karti hai. Yeh nidaan nahin hai. Uske liye doctor se milein.